I thought that I was being cute yesterday

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/27/2007 | | 3 comments »

And I updated my links to reflect all the blogs that I'm following and then this morning realized that am missing more than a few. Apparently I have to organize things better since blogger won't let me put loads and loads of links in one category. Sorry to all you guys that are off my roll right now. I will update it later today/tomorrow.

Addiction

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/25/2007 | , , | 9 comments »

I have to come out and say it. I can't hide it any longer and besides, Katie's been wanting to laugh and point fingers at me.

My mother is an addict. Not illegal drugs, mind you. She's addicted to prescription pills. It's disgusting, really. Her nightstand is full of Tylenol PM, Excedrin, Nyquil, Fioricet, and a whole host of other stuff that I can't pronounce much less spell. She excuses herself saying that she suffers from migraines to take her medicine, but it's not true. There's nothing mores icky nasty than having your mother call you and try to talk to you all highey. You can't understand a word she says. Thankfully, I don't live anywhere near her so I don't have to put up with it. But my brothers are still living at home, the youngest one being like 8 or so. And they have to live with it. I wish that I could bring them to live with me to save them from their living conditions but I can't afford to have them with me, and we don't have a very large house that we can put up three kids (two of them teens) in it.

Okay, who are you?

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/25/2007 | , | 6 comments »

Reading Katie's post today, I realized that someone has seen my blog in Orlando. and someone else saw my blog from Thonotosassa. Now, I know Katie has no idea of where these towns are, but they are a hop, skip, and a jump from me. The internet is getting closer to me. Pretty soon, real life people that see me everyday are going to know about me. They will read my posts and I will have to poke my eyes out with a spork! The pain! The humanity! Not that I'm opposed to people reading me, is just that I'm afraid that they will force me to either password protect the site, or to pull it completely.

In other words, how the heck does Katie get more views than I do? It's just not fair! I'm so much more likeable and beautiful and nice and pretty and! I! Like! Monkeys! How do you top that? Not fair, I think. Not fair at all.

Real estate

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/24/2007 | | 0 comments »

A couple of years ago, The Hubby and me went to a conference in Orlando and we stayed at this beautiful vacation home. It was the stuff dreams are made of, lots of room and beautiful furniture. The Hubby and I inquired at the rental office how much it would cost to buy one of those houses (there was a sign). They gave us a bit of a run around and we ended up having to find the information ourselves off the net. This is where this Property Investments company comes in. They do all the guesswork for you so that you won’t feel alone. You see, there are several prices in a home. You could have a price for a preconstruction house of $100K. That same house would cost $130K half way through construction and a cool $150K once it’s finished. The trick is getting the house before they build it so that you can have all that nice, shweet equity built in the house without doing too much on your part.


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The Kid

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/23/2007 | | 6 comments »

Updated to add more words!

I noticed that I haven't updated ya'll on The Kid, so here it goes.
He's 18 months old and gets into everything. He won't even let me poop in peace. YOU try to do number 2 while bouncing a child in your lap and singing elmo songs! Let's see how you like it! But other than that, he's right on schedule with stuff, I guess. Here are the words that come out of his mouth lately:
abuela (grandma), mama, papa, ka (short for snack. It's pronounced like a loud karate scream, kaaaaaaa!), leche (milk), jugo (juice),wassup (hilarious to hear him say it because he will whisper it and stick his tongue out),que? (what), The Kid (well, actually his name), cow, moo, quack, duck, hielo (ice, he pronounces it yellow), red, blue, car, one, two, whee!,

pretty (pronounced peee-teee. He directs this at the mirror right after he's freshly cleaned and dressed. He likes to see himself peetee), isa, dimar, nati, asa (names of family friends), loco, pata (leg, also means gay in some spanish areas), pie, eye, ear, nooo!, look at that! (except he pronounces it, ahkala!), bye, allo' (pronounced very british), wow, what, and he does say other things that we've yet to decipher. Now I have to go eat, am starving, like marvin.

** He also says Dios (God. He pronounces it like Homer's D'oh!), Haleluyah (aaahuuuya!), and Amen (fine, he actually says aw man! But I'm telling people that he's saying Amen like a good little boy, heheh)**

My old job

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/18/2007 | , , | 10 comments »

Okay, so I had this job where I monitored court proceedings. It was actually fun, me being the nosy nelly that I am and all. And since most of everything I saw and heard is public record I can talk about it. Except the other stuff, the juicy things. Those I can't really talk about (although they never told me not to, I just figure that since the transcripts are not available to the public, that I can't talk about it). Of course, that only means Katie's curiosity has been sparked.
FYI when you first go to court to get a restraining order, you initially get a 30 day emergency one. You have to show up in court to get it to be made permanent (usually 12 months). If during the time that either the temporary or permanent restraining orders are in effect the other person breaks contact (even by calling the other person), they can go to jail from anywhere between 1-12 months depending on severity of offense. But first they have to go in front of the Judge and explain why they broke the restraining order.

Anyways, we had this case in domestic violence court (that's where all the injunctions or restraining orders are done). This woman was at a family BBQ. There were only 2 rack of ribs for everyone there to share. There were about 17 people at the BBQ. The woman in question took 1/2 a rack for herself, another woman didn't think it was right. A fight ensued, they ended up putting restraining orders against each other.

This other woman, she got a restraining order against her ex husband and it was made permanent. She later called the police and said that the ex came and beat her up. She was in pretty bad shape. Bruises, torn clothing, pulled hair, furniture all over the place, broken things, you name it. It looked like the guy did a pretty good job of getting the woman. The judge issued a Warrant for the guy's arrest and then when their court date came up, all poop hit the fan. The guy had been saying from the beginning that the woman was lying (don't all wife beaters say that?) but he could never prove it. This time he told the judge that he had solid proof that he did not do anything to the woman. The judge, curiously asked what kind of proof. I mean, this couple had been in front of him several times already and all. The guy said, and this is where it gets good. He said, I was picked up for drunk driving about 2 hours before the incident. I was sitting in jail when I supposedly beat her up. The woman, could not come up with an answer to that and it was determined by the judge that the woman beat herself up just to get back at the guy. Talk about bad blood huh? I don't remember exactly what the judge did, I know that he terminated the injunction against the man but made one against the woman. He also either jailed or fined the woman for lying to the court. The judge liked to retell this story to all the couples that came in front of him to show the spiteful mean spirited women that they could not lie because they would be found out. Katie, what do you think?

Like to date?

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/18/2007 | | 6 comments »

WellWell, if you like to date and are black then you should mosey on over to this newBlack Personals dating site. They have a few hundred new people joining them every day. That means that you can match up with lots of people that are of similar taste than you. This will definitely help you weed out the riff raff from the real deal.



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Okay here it goes

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/13/2007 | | 6 comments »

My sister was pregnant and found out that she was expecting twins. She was told that one of the twins might be dead/ not growing properly. Then she was told that her pregnancy was very high risk and that she could lose the other baby. Then she lost the babies. This is a very very sad story except that The Hubby, in his customary way of not paying attention to what I tell him got things so screwed up, that he told our friends my sister was going to have half a twin. Which is just one baby. Which was hilarious when he said it because to this day he still doesn't get the fact that one of the babies was hiding behind the other one and that's why they couldn't tell things properly the first time. And it's funny because he was trying to explain how there was a maybe baby hiding behind a maybe not baby that was not babyshaped and not quite sure if it was true but maybe not. Which makes me sad because I wanted to see the babies. And it makes me even more sad that my sister's going through this process since it is painful to lose a baby whether it's in utero or outside.

So I just came back from our company's Teambuilding meeting. It's something quite cute that they came up with to get every department to work together. So far, we have gone to Gameworks (adult chuckecheese), Laser tag arena, and today we did a murder mistery thing. It was very much so like Clue except I actually understood what people said and guessed right at the murderer. Because of that I won a hat. Not just any hat, an island girl hat. I look like I should have some too short long pants, a white beater, and be barefoot climbing a coconut tree. S'okay though, I won. That's all that counts!

The best diet pill in the market

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/11/2007 | | 14 comments »

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the tremendous amount of diet pills available? Have you wanted something to help you lose weight without the bothersome diets? Look no more, the Nueslim diet pill has had an overwhelming amount of positive customer feedback and is very reasonably priced at only $9.95 per bottle AND they give you a lifetime money back guarantee. That means that you can use it for more than 30 days until you’re sure this is the pill for you.

Broke Back Mountain Lady

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/11/2007 | 4 comments »

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra."

Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said: "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired

Drug Rehab

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/11/2007 | | 4 comments »

Okay, so you thought you were just having fun and enjoying yourself. You thought you were a casual smoker and that people liked you when you were high. Fast forward a few months, years, maybe even weeks depending on how much you did. Now you’re sleeping on a mattress that you can’t even put up on cinder blocks because you sold those for money. You’ve hit rock bottom, what to do? Get thee to a drug detoxification program! The Stone Hawk program is one of the best out there with an 80% success rate versus the 20% the other programs offer. Their key is teaching addicts how to successfully change their lifestyles and become productive members of society. Personally, I’ve never wanted to do drugs (not even when someone called me after snorting coke and was all highey and stuff), but I will definitely recommend this program to people that I see. Katie! Go there and become a productive member of society.

Learn how to drive

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/06/2007 | 9 comments »

When borrowing your dad's brand new $1,000,000 Ferrari

Do not hit a power pole while driving at 200 MPH

but if you do, make sure that you only have slight bruises and scrapes by wearing your seatbelt

Car was totaled (remember one million smackaroos)
There is a 2 year waiting period for this car.
I believe the dad's exact words were: you will never drive my car again and you will be grounded until cows fly! I don't care you were alive, I cared about my car!
Oh and worst of all.... the car only had 9 miles on it!......
One mile of it was during the wreck...

How to have clean fun

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/06/2007 | , | 2 comments »

Katie, the one about the eggs is for you.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

**************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

Moldy thoughts

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/05/2007 | | 5 comments »

Okay, so this lady from church had mold. (Not on her Katie, but on her house) it happened because she’s a single mom and did not give her air conditioner any maintenance which led to mold all over her house. They just moved out into an apartment and had to literally abandon their home and most of the furnishings on it. Even the couch, which looked okay on the outside but when they pulled that fabric-ey lining at the bottom, was full of mold. A site like Pennsylvania Mold Inspector one should help you find a good mold guy.

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my belly aches

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/05/2007 | 3 comments »

I had a nightmare that i was at work and my belly ached...

Investing

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/05/2007 | 0 comments »

Have you ever wondered what the future will hold for you? Do you cringe to think of when you’re 55 and holding your teeth in a cup where your next meal/medicine will come from? Then you need to start investing your money wisely. Go and check out the global futures website and start saving. Seriously, just one pack of cigarettes will run you about 4 dollars a day. that’s about 120 dollars a month. Add to that the money you could be saving yourself by going to seventy five concerts a week (Katie) and you could be on your way to richendom. With as little as $250 you can get started. Why delay, start now. I intend to fully start saving money, right after I get out of my current scrape..

**There is risk of loss trading Futures, options, and forex**

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Freebie Fridays!

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/03/2007 | 5 comments »

I can't belive this! Mom is Nutz is bringing back the freebie fridays! I order you to go there and get some freebies! Go now! I command thee~