Dear Husband

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 6/07/2009 | , | 1 comments »

When you see me using the bathroom with the lights off, do not turn them on for me. Understand that I'm not doing it because I'm some sort of closet vampire. I'm actually trying to hide from your spawn, er children. You see, the lights of the bathroom are connected to the fan and if I turn them on they will realize that I've escaped their grasp and will come and find me. Rather than having two screaming crying children disturbing the only 10 minutes of me time that I have, I'd rather do my necessities in the dark.

Please understand that and respect my choices. Or next time that I catch you going to the bathroom I will wait until you're too busy, open the door, throw a small child or two in there and close the door. Trust me, you do not want to be reading Hansel and Gretel while trying to do number two.

Dear BIL

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 6/03/2009 | | 0 comments »

If I hear The Hubby gripe about one more mail order/catalog/pyramid scheme thing that you're trying to sell to him, I'm going to go postal. If you value your life and that of your brother, please stop selling him candles/cookware/tupperwear/etc. We don't need it. Dude, it took me like six month's worth of research to choose our pots/pans, what makes you think that we're going to go gaga over your olympia pots or whatever the heck they're called.


Dear SIL

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 6/02/2009 | | 1 comments »

I appreciate that you're thinking of me, I really do. But STOP SENDING ME STUPID FORWARD TEXTS! Seriously! Stop saying how:

God spoke to me and said that you're blessed. If you want this to be true, send to 10 friends or have bad luck for a year.

Or that

Thank God that you woke up alive today. To continue being alive, send to ten friends.

I can't stand stupid forwarded messages. First of all, you're using up all of my allotted texts for the month (doesn't matter that I have an unlimited plan, that's beside the point). But second, and this is a biggie If God were to want me dead, he wouldn't let me know through a text from a friend of a friend. Last I checked, The Bible does not say: thou shall forward all holy text messages or die. And doesn't The Bible say that we're blessed already? Why do I have to forward it to 10 friends? What if I don't have that many friends, can I send to 10 relatives? Does it count if I send it back to the sender? What if my battery is dead or I'm camping somewhere with no signal and don't send the text out in time, will God kill me then?

You see the pandora's box that you put God in when you start putting his name in these things? I think they'll have to open up a new department in heaven just to deal with all the repercussions of these kinds of texts.

So I got my first unemployment check this week. Turns out that when you quit because your spouse is relocating bc of the army you qualify for it. Sad part? Even though I'm *technically* getting less than half of my weekly paycheck, I'm actually seeing much more of it since I don't have to pay daycare and gas to work. Seriously, before after I paid daycare, gas, tithe, and bought groceries I had less than $50 left over per week. And that was after we dropped the health insurance through my job, my leftover money was even less than that.

The Hubby's been gone all week for field training. Sucks to be him, I've had unbridled access to both the car and the bank account. I spent about $500, probably more than that. But I did get enough groceries for the next two weeks (minus fruits, they go too fast here to keep for long) and bought some things that I wanted and was told by The Hubby that "when you're working and bringing home a paycheck you can buy it."

He's gonna go to war. Of course mr. dumbo listens to everything others tell him no matter how laughable it is thinks that he's not going to be gone for a full year because the president said that the troops were coming home. He doesn't listen to the news and can't see what I see, that if they're finished in Iraq before the year's out, they'll just be sent over to Afghanistan or maybe even Pakistan (who knows what's gonna happen with them in six or eight months?). The clock is ticking down and before the year's out he will be sleeping under strange stars and looking at an unfamiliar moon. It's a good thing that his stint at AIT turned me into a darn monk. Otherwise I would've never survived a year without nookie.

Me Gustan las vaca vacas decapitadas

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 5/11/2009 | , | 0 comments »

For some odd reason that only Katie can understand, I find myself wanting to say that to my children. Somehow, deep down, I have this need for them to know that phrase and would love for them to randomly say it alongside their "that's bigger than your head!"' and "Holy poop on a stick!"

“There was a time, literally, when there were no teenagers.” This is the opening line of a recent book by columnist and author Dianna West. Her thesis is given away in the title: The Death of the Grownup: How America’s Arrested Development Threatens Western Civilization (St. Martin’s Press, 2007).

Adolescence didn’t always exist. In fact, it is a rather recent phenomenon. This is the point of West’s opening line. In fact, the word “teenager” wasn’t really used until 1941. Not because there weren’t people who were teen aged, but because those years were not considered any more remarkable than any others.

In virtually every other culture in the history of the world prior to late 20th century Western culture, kids became adults. Not so anymore. They now become teenagers or, to put it in more sociologically acceptable terms, they become adolescents.

What happened to bring about this new stage in human development? The sexual revolution and political upheavals of the 60’s are, of course, the most obvious suspects. However, West suggests a number of other things, some earlier than the 60’s: a generation of disconnected fathers trying to deal with what they experienced during WWII, factories no longer producing necessities for war begin producing non-necessities for consumption, new marketing engines to sell these goods to people who didn’t realize they wanted them, Chubby Checker’s Twist, Elvis’ hips, the Beatles’ hair, automobiles-perhaps more than one-in every home, the growth of Hollywood, and the recognition by the marketing engines of the fortune to be made from this brand new segment of the population.

Of course, adolescence is now considered a fixed stage of development. It is now expected that students will lose their minds from ages 13-18. “Kids will be kids,” we say. Only, we aren’t referring to kids anymore, we are talking about 15 year olds.

There is another complication with adolescence. Its grip has forcefully expanded beyond teenagers, and in both directions. On the front end, we went from teens to “pre-teens,” and the marketing engines quickly spotted more financial potential. On the back end, whereas eighteen was once considered the end of adolescence, it is now considered the middle. Psychologists and sociologists now refer to adolescence as the stage from age 11 to age 30.

But, there’s more. The reach of adolescence is even greater than this. Adolescence is now, and this must not be missed, the goal of our culture. Somewhere along the way, we ceased to be a culture where kids aspire to be adults and became a culture where adults aspire to be kids.

What are the marks of a culture with a dominant adolescent mindset? Not surprisingly, they are precisely what we have come to expect from adolescents themselves.

Demand for immediate gratification. We want what we want now, and we will not wait or work for it. Spiraling credit card debt, addiction to new technologies, bouncing from church to church till we find the one we like, abandoning marriages – this list could go on and on.

Absence of long-term thinking about life and the world. Hand-in-hand with a demand for immediate gratification is a distraction from the real issues that actually matter. For example, on a recent 20/20 John Stossel showed pictures of major political figures and a few celebrities. 100% recognized TV personality Judge Judy, while no one recognized Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. A generation who is unaware of what is important in life will certainly misdirect their time and energy.

Motivated by feeling rather than truth. This is a key indicator of a volatile person, and an even more significant indicator of a failing culture. Truth is murdered by pooled, and polled, ignorance. Other casualties include families, churches, masculinity, femininity, art, words, justice, charity, love, education, psychological stability, any coherent sense of identity, theology, mission, wisdom, beauty, and human sexuality.

Wanting grown-up things without growing up. Ironically, despite our addiction to all things adolescent, we still expect to be treated like adults. “Don’t tell me what to do,” we say. “Every opinion matters” and “Treat me with respect,” we add. Of course, fools actually do not deserve respect and their opinions are, at best, a thorough waste of time and, at worst, dangerous.

Expecting bailouts rather than accepting consequences. Not thinking before acting is a trait of adolescence, as is making excuses for it. In our acceptance of adolescence accepts we label this thinking as merely immature. “They’ll grow out of it,” we suggest. A quick look around reveals that “they” are not. Bad mortgage decision? The government should help. Sexual immorality? Birth control, abortion, and HPV vaccines. Falling grades? Tests are to blame. Poor behavior? They’re just kids.

Focusing on appearance rather than depth. Seen in everything from fascination with celebrity to the way presidents and churches are chosen, cultures that choose style over substance are easily deceived and destined for tyranny. Few things are more historically verifiable than this.

More could be added here, but the point is that sometimes what is normal, well, shouldn’t be. Adolescence is a recent, and foolish, invention. And, ideas have consequences. Good ideas have good consequences; bad ideas have bad consequences; foolish ideas have foolish consequences.

Still, there is good news. Cultures like ours have a leadership vacuum. So, there is a terrific opportunity for influence for those who produce the leaders, especially if they produce who can think beyond the current cultural shallowness. Home school parents are in a unique position to raise leaders who will rise above the adolescent abyss.

How can we do this?

Challenge students, instead of coddle them. We aim too low with teenagers. Students do not need more entertainment, whether it is from the television, the IPod, or the youth group. They need, and want, to be challenged. We see this every year at our Summit student leadership conferences – student endure 70+ hours of lecture and instruction on worldviews, apologetics, culture, and character. Then they call home and ask for more money, so they can buy books!
Give them a thorough education in worldviews and apologetics. First, students need to know what they believe. Too many see Christianity as merely a private faith rather than as a robust view of reality that offers a tried and true map for life. Second, students need to know what others believe. There are non-Biblical worldviews that are battling for their hearts and minds, and for our culture. We contend that, at minimum, students need to have a handle on these six worldviews before going to college: secular humanism, Marxism/Leninism, postmodernism, Islam, New Age, and Biblical Christianity. Third, Christians must know why they believe what they believe. Too many Christians cannot answer, and are even afraid of, the challenging questions about God, Jesus, the Bible, morality, or truth that come at them.
Show them that Christianity is not just about what we are against, but what we are about. Proverbs says that without vision, the people “cast off restraint.” One of the main reasons that students are casualties of immorality is that they lack vision. While they may know what they are not supposed to do, they fail to understand the life of meaning, purpose, and impact Christ calls them to. Christian students often get the impression that we are merely saved from, and not to. They miss the “re” part of the salvation words that sprinkle the Scriptures: renew, regenerate, reconcile, redeem, etc. They miss that Christ not only came to save us from death, he came to save us to life - and abundant life at that!
Confront with them, rather than isolate them from, the major cultural battles of our day. Historically, Christians have sought to understand, and respond to cultural crises. They understood that these crises were the site of the battle of worldviews. Unfortunately, many Christians today are unaware of, disinterested in, or avoiding of issues like embryo-destructive research, euthanasia, emerging technologies, the arts, film, fashion, legislation, human trafficking, politics, and international relations. In the Garden on the evening before His death, Christ prayed these astounding words for his followers: “Father, do not take them from the world, but protect them from the evil one” (John 17:15). Our prayer, and preparation, for our children should be no different.

Worshipping the porcelain gods

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/24/2009 | | 0 comments »

I swear to God, I'd never been so glad to see a bathroom in my life. You see, we had to take the rental car back to the airport. I was driving one car with the kidlets and The Hubby was driving the other car. Five minutes into the forty minute trip it hit me. I had to go, and badly. I think I prayed to God more fervently than in those scary minutes when I thought Ducky was going to die at birth. We finally stopped at a gas station but it had no bathroom. I then went to a store behind it but it too, was bathroomless. I had to run across a large highway and down the block before I found a bathroom and it was just in the nick of time. I was thisclose to going behind a bush, that's how bad it was.

Sorry for the TMI peeps.

We're here, well, sorta

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/14/2009 | , , | 1 comments »

Geez, where do I start. Well, the plane ride's a good place as any. Imagine: a stroller, two carseats(kiddos sat on these in the flight, NOT checked in), six suitcases, two backpacks, a huge diaperbag/purse, a three year old, a one year old, two planes, 14 hours travel time.

Oh, and did I mention that I did this all by myself? Yeah, it was a wild ride. But thankfully the kidlets were on their semi best behavior and things went along without a hitch. Except when The Kid got a weird rash all of a sudden from one of the plane's blankets. He got so weirdly hivey that the flight attendants considered having EMTs meet us at the airport. Thankfully we still had over eight hours flight time to go and the hives went down before we landed. I def needed to get myself into a bed and sleep. The second biggest problem we've had is the time change. We're six hours behind and these kid's body clocks are not behaving. They've been waking up between 2-4am (hawaii time) every day and going to bed at eight pm with no naps in between. And someone forgot to tell Ducky that it is NOT okay to stop eating anything at all and only nurse. He's worse than a newborn lately.

Ducky, amma gonna shake my fist at you

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 4/14/2009 | | 0 comments »

I feel so sorry for that boy. He has had the worst three weeks evah. In no particular order he has had: a cold, ear infection, diarrhea, cut two upper molars, cut one lower tooth, chipped a front tooth, traveled back in time, and is stuck in a hotel room staring at us. I do hope he gets better soon although I doubt it. I think I saw the beginnings of another lower molar pushing through.

Mommy!!! Daddy run away!! and EWWWWWW

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/31/2009 | , , | 0 comments »

I was cooking and was slicing some garlic cloves when wouldn't you know it, Ducky reached in my plate and grabbed one of them and ate it!! ewww. He ate the entire thing. I thought for sure he'd spit it out as soon as he tasted the frozen clove but not. Like a true Sourpatch child, he would not allow himself to waste anything edible. I was icked out and proud at the same time.

on runing away.

The Kid woke up two nights ago and came running into my room as usual. He didn't find his daddy on the bed and was surprised. He screamed out Mommy! Daddy run away!! The Hubby was in the living room at the time. It was super funny the way he said it.

This is it! My very last day of working here. I leave with a bittersweet heart. On one part, there are some awesome people that I've gotten to know (M, A, J, M, E, R) and there are also those whose name shall go unmentioned. I will miss seeing and talking to my girls here but I won't miss the office mama drama and all that it entails (and I'm mostly looking at the local crazies, i.e. S). This is also my very last day with real internet access. Probably by the time I get home, the pc AND tv will have been unhooked in anticipation of the movers. I still have SO MUCH to do it's not even funny. I have about two loads of laundry left (mostly diapers) and have to buy more almond milk for Ducky since his princess tummy won't tolerate anything but.

Speaking of him, he got whatever it is that I have. Poor baby woke up eleventeen times last night and nursed nonstop. Woke up with a face crusted with snot (looked like those children you see in walmart). The poor The Kid also is getting whatever it is that I have as well, I heard him coughing several times during the night. He slept in the air mattress in his room since their beds have already been dismantled. Poor thing, he tried crawling to my room sometime during the night. I found him asleep on the floor. Half his body was in my room and the other half in the hallway. And the little snitch also pulled the stopper on the air mattress. When I went to wake him up this morning (I'd put him back on the bed when I found him), the mattress was completely squoshed and the stopper had been taken off.

cross your fingers for me, The Hubby finally got the amended orders and will be trying to get our tickets on the same flight as his. Hopefully they'll still have seats available. And I'm going to go all out and not use 'sposies during the transition. I'd briefly considering using disposable diapers until we're in our own house in HI, but I'm going to try and not do it. I will use the laundromat in town until we leave, making sure all the dipes are nice and clean the day before. I don't think I'll have a problem using cloth on the plane. FBs are very good at holding things in, but just in case I will put a fleece cover over them. I will, however, make The Kid wear a pullup on at least the first leg of the trip. Last thing I want is to find out the altitude gives this child the runs. Until I can post again:

Hele me kahau 'oli

lol. Tomorrow's my last day and I woke up feeling sick like a dog. Vomiting, nausea, cough, etc. I got a bad, bad cold. I still showed up for work since I didn't think it'd be fair to call in my second to last day, but as soon as the managers caught me puking into the trashcan I was sent home. I got to nap half the day so that was kinda nice.

So long suckers!! (at least for now)

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/25/2009 | , , | 0 comments »

Monday the movers came to pick up the small shipment. I was at work and The Hubby supervised. According to him, these guys were slower than a caravan of one legged men. And then the moving truck wouldn't start so he had to jumpstart their battery. Talk about efficiency, lol. Today I'm nursing a terrible head cold. Hopefully it'll go away soon. Tomorrow's my last day at work (cake day yay!) and I know they're planning some sort of surprise thing.

Onto serious things now, my pc will be disconnected tomorrow and unless I go to the airport or the mall, I won't have 'net access. Still don't have my tickets though, it's been one snag after another. The Hubby leaves next Friday (that's one entire week 'net less here) and I'm hoping we leave either that day, or the day after. And then we have to wait until our stuff gets to us before having regular internet.

MooOOOmmy, we have a problem!

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/20/2009 | | 0 comments »

I'm phirsty

That's what The Kid told me yesterday with such a straight face I couldn't help but laughing.

Last week I was on the PC and hear:

MoOOOm! Come on let's help me clean my bum. Me first and you second.

Kids do say the darndest things.


Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/20/2009 | , | 0 comments »

The Hubby was supposed to get our tickets yesterday but couldn't. There was a mixup with the paperwork and they may fix it today. If it doesn't get fixed in the next couple of days, it might be a month or two before the kidlets and I join him in paradise. Which wouldn't upset me that much, except that my MIL already told her apt complex she'd be moving out 4/1 and I'd have to live with her for a month. Did I mention that I'd have no furniture the entire month? Not cool..

Schedules 101

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/18/2009 | , | 0 comments »

So, this is the tentative schedule for now.
Thursday, The Hubby gets my and the kidlet's tickets
Friday, The Hubby will come home for two weeks
Saturday, he goes and buys me some suitcases
Sunday, I pack said suitcases
Monday, the movers come pick up the smaller shipment
Thursday, I wash all dirty clothes and diapers. Last day of work
Friday, movers come in for the big move. I follow them around making sure they pack everything they're supposed to and don't go into the locked bedroom.

From Friday until we leave (hopefully next Friday, 4/3), we live out of a suitcase and sleep on an air mattress. Then it's off to Hawaii where we'll live in a hotel unitl we get a house. Oh, and my internet will be shut off as of 3/31. I'll have intermittent access to the 'net while we're enroute. Basically, where we can get free WiFI we'll use the laptop. Then it'll just be a matter of time between getting a house and getting the net installed. Hopefully I'll be back in full net acess by 4/30 as I don't know what I'll do with my time.

Is how I spent half my day yesterday. Apparently, they're supposed to clear me and the kidlets from having any and all sorts of diseases/mental issues before allowing us to travel. I loved the question from the social worker:

Do you have any undiagnosed mental health issues?

Now let's take a minute here and think. How would I know if I have a mental health issue if it's undiagnosed? Was I supposed to ask Dr. Google? Are mentally ill people supposed to admit that they're ill if they don't know? I know that I'm different and semy crunchy and that I have an issue with pixie sticks, but other than that, no. I got a bit freaked out when they mentioned vaccines. The Dr. lady said: I see here that Ducky is up to date in his vaxes and that The Kid is the same as well. I just nodded and smiled. It was more than obvious that she'd never even looked at their files (which were in front of her) because if she had, she'd know that Ducky's never gotten a vax and that The Kid is lacking some too. Either way, I got out of having to explain to people why I chose to keep my children chemical free. I'd rather have my children's insides chicken embryo free, not to mention phermaldehyde and aluminum. Crazy people, the good thing is that we passed the screening

ALOHA everyone!!!!

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/10/2009 | , , , , | 1 comments »

That's right, We're going to HAWAIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is happening pretty fast now. Suffice it to say that we will be there before mid April. I put in my notice at work yesterday (how awesome was that?!), my last day will be the 27th. My internet and cable will cut off the 31st which will leave me with about a week of no 'net while still in FL and it will be several weeks while we set up housing and have our furniture and pc delivered. Who knows how long that will take. For now, nyanya nyanya nya nya, I'm going to Hawaii to LIVE and you get to freeze your tushies. The Hubby wants me to find a job once we're settled but with the way the economy is and the high costs of daycare, I'm going to try and convince him to let me stay home with the kidlets. They're growing up so fast and I'm missing out on so much...

Go ahead, hate me.

And to top it all off, I got a brand new (Charlotte Russe) two piece business suit at a garage sale for two dollars. Fits me like a dream.

ALL Blog Tools

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 3/05/2009 | | 0 comments »

If you needs to get your blog all nifty spiffy, you should check these guys out at You can get just about anything for your site and they will answer any and all of your questions. 'cept they won't give you their phone number. Something about a girl calling them at three am repeatedly asking what the heck a rss feed was..

oh wait, that was me last week. Sorry guys, I messed things up for the internets again.

I'm dying to tell you guys the news. I'm dying to tell you guys how absolutely amazing it's going to feel doing it. But I can't. In case my job knows about the internet. The good thing is that I'll be able to tell you guys either on the eight or the ninth. But it's awesome news!

In other less private matters, my mother is coming over to visit next weekend. Not sure if I'm glad or drearing the time. Thankfully it's going to be short so I won't have time to kill her if the urge comes.

Ducky has finally decided that he's going to walk (only like 80% of the time). I swear, this child does these things to drive me crazy. He's known how to walk for months now. We've seen him do it, he's seen us seeing him do it, he's done alone. But he still chooses to crawl. GR! It's not that he is afraid of falling or can only do a few steps at a time. This child will be sitting on the middle of the floor with nothing near him and is able to get up, walk, stop, turn around, take corners, in short he KNOWS how to do it. He's not doing it because he wants to be held either, that's the part that confuses me. Unless we are out (like shopping or something), he's on the floor. He doesn't like to be held for extended periods either....

The doctor found a hernia on his tummy last checkup. He says it's benign and that nothing needs to be done. Great, more things for me to freak out about. He also told me that he's monitoring his growth and brain development. Not because the kid is not meeting his milestones on time or has a problem, but (and get this) because someone messed up when they measured his head at an apt. They said that his head was smaller than normal. Now, granted, they remeasured his head right away and it was normal sized but apparently it's an automatic red flag and my kid will forever remind me of a shrunken head.

Seriously! Geez, I called the auto repair shop to get the estimate on The Hubby's truck. The guy answers the phone and when I tell him what I want he goes: can I call you back in 15 minutes? I'm in the bathroom.


Yesterday we went to the zoo (or zoom! As The Kid says) and had a blast. We got to feed the giraffe! How cute are they? What with their big ol' eyes and huge eyelashes. The Kid was not afraid at all when it came his turn to extend his arm for the giraffe to eat. He actually fed it three times and loved it. I fed it once and have to say that the sandpaperish feel of its tongue pressed against the back of my arm was not entirely what I expected. But it's tongue was purple which made everything much better. I did notice however that there were a ton of people in the designated smoking areas (which are partially hidden) that chose to put their children inside it as well while they smoked up.

I wanted to hurt those people. It's bad enough that they're willing to put cancerous fumes on their bodies, they were forcing their children to fill up their lungs with strangers' smoke as well. I'm not talking about one parent with a child in the smoking area, I'm talking about upwards of ten+ adults and one or two children (one of them was in the infant baby stroller with the carseat on top). How can one as a parent force their child to ruin their lungs like that? I get breathless and start coughing everytime I'm near smoke (it didn't happen when I was younger) to the point where I think I'm having some sort of allergic reaction. I can't imagine what these poor children are going through.

Circus freaks and lollipops

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 1/09/2009 | | 0 comments »

Last night we went to the circus. It was a spur of the moment decision, they were only going to be in until Sunday and I would only have two short windows of opportunity to go. It was amazing! I've never been to the circus before unless you count that one time when I was twelve where I arrived like 10 minutes before it ended. The Kid was so excited that he actually went to the bathroom 5 times in the three hours we were there. He almost did pee his pants. And Ducky, wow. His eyes were like two frying pans they got so big. He sat and looked at the show barely making a peep the entire time. The Kid wasn't afraid of the clowns and absolutely loved the elephants and dancing tigers. Of course, the magician was his favorite part. Now he's walking around the house waving his fingers "mysteriously" like the magician in the show. Definitely if you can take your kidlets there go, it's well worth it.

The Kid calls lollipops-ladypobs. For the life of me I can't get him to pronounce it right. But then again, this is the child that thinks maracas are "my racas" as in "these are racas that are mine." Silly child. Silly indeed.

Separations are never easy

Posted by sourpatchbaby | 1/05/2009 | , , | 0 comments »

I dropped off The Hubby at the airport on Saturday. Sorry I hadn't come visiting in a while. There was a ton of hubub around when he came and with the holidays and all, life got to me. I was so down to see him go. At least it's only for three months tops this time. And soon we will get together again. BTW, guess where we'll be living?? Go ahead, guess.

Here's a clue, "there's no ice in paradise"

Whoever guesses wins a prize.