It's been crazy, he's been home less than a month now and it's hard to readjust our lives again. He's not used to being near small children whose attention needs suck the lifeblood out of you (he's asked me at least six times if we can't just send them to school, lol). I'm not used to having to run my decisions by anyone else before acting on them. Plus I have to share my car with him, gone are the days where I woke up and decided we'd be going to the beach or lake right then and there. The kids are not used to him anymore and it shows. Ducky is afraid of his daddy and will only go to him/allow him to touch him under very VERY controlled situations. The Kid is very afraid that daddy is going to leave again. Every time that The Hubby leaves to the store or to work, The Kid starts crying because daddy left again and he won't see him again. He has been going to work (on a modified schedule) while they finish all the redeployment paperwork. Thankfully though, his leave starts tomorrow and we'll be going on a family vacation. Hopefully spending a month traveling in Cali and Tijuana with daddy 24/7 will be enough to get the boys to become more comfortable with the fact that daddy is here to stay.

The plan is for us to leave on the first plane that goes to Cali (free flights, but it can be a pain to get there) and then hitting up a few of the touristy attractions. Since Tijuana is just a short drive away we'll be going there for the day as well. Never been to Mexico before so I'm excited and looking forward to it. Although we won't be staying in Mexico overnight due to The Hubby's unnatural fear of being stabbed to death by a Mexican gang member (stems from his having gone on a missions trip to a part of Mexico that has more gangs and murderers than normal people).

When you see me using the bathroom with the lights off, do not turn them on for me. Understand that I'm not doing it because I'm some sort of closet vampire. I'm actually trying to hide from your spawn, er children. You see, the lights of the bathroom are connected to the fan and if I turn them on they will realize that I've escaped their grasp and will come and find me. Rather than having two screaming crying children disturbing the only 10 minutes of me time that I have, I'd rather do my necessities in the dark.


Please understand that and respect my choices. Or next time that I catch you going to the bathroom I will wait until you're too busy, open the door, throw a small child or two in there and close the door. Trust me, you do not want to be reading Hansel and Gretel while trying to do number two.

So I got my first unemployment check this week. Turns out that when you quit because your spouse is relocating bc of the army you qualify for it. Sad part? Even though I'm *technically* getting less than half of my weekly paycheck, I'm actually seeing much more of it since I don't have to pay daycare and gas to work. Seriously, before after I paid daycare, gas, tithe, and bought groceries I had less than $50 left over per week. And that was after we dropped the health insurance through my job, my leftover money was even less than that.

The Hubby's been gone all week for field training. Sucks to be him, I've had unbridled access to both the car and the bank account. I spent about $500, probably more than that. But I did get enough groceries for the next two weeks (minus fruits, they go too fast here to keep for long) and bought some things that I wanted and was told by The Hubby that "when you're working and bringing home a paycheck you can buy it."

He's gonna go to war. Of course mr. dumbo listens to everything others tell him no matter how laughable it is thinks that he's not going to be gone for a full year because the president said that the troops were coming home. He doesn't listen to the news and can't see what I see, that if they're finished in Iraq before the year's out, they'll just be sent over to Afghanistan or maybe even Pakistan (who knows what's gonna happen with them in six or eight months?). The clock is ticking down and before the year's out he will be sleeping under strange stars and looking at an unfamiliar moon. It's a good thing that his stint at AIT turned me into a darn monk. Otherwise I would've never survived a year without nookie.

Or I'd have tore him a new one. You see, one of the biggest arguments that we have is regarding money. Not how much I spend or he spends, but the actual paying of the bills, budgeting kind of fights. The problem was that he wouldn't let me see the bills and he would pay them himself. I'm not kidding you when I say that we've had several talks with the pastors regarding this. They were always on my side because as his wife and a bringer of money, I should know what the money is being spent on.

Well, the past few days I've been going over the finances and let me just tell you that angry does not even begin to cover what I'm feeling. Let's just say that our take home income is about 1/4 of our monthly bills. Where was the rest of the money coming from you may ask? From an equity line of credit that we have. Said equity is emptied out and mr. sourpatch decided to run away instead of getting a real job and doing his part.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that he hasn't been working. It's just that since The Kid was born and he quit his job so that he could study and then start his own business things had been going downhill. Especially since the construction business is slow. Especially since he'd been getting work from a good for nothing "christian" and I use that term loosely. I'd been telling that man to get a job, any job but the man had his sight set on that he could only work at a Lowe's or a Home Depot. Not sure why, since he used to work in the corporate world and made good money. He also didn't want a job that would pay less than 15/hr. because we wouldn't be able to live otherwise. But yet it was okay for him to stay home and wait on his good for nothing boss that owes us several thousand dollars for back pay to call him up and give him more work. I tell you, I'm seriously thinking of suing that good for nothing. And he called himself a christian. Any christian worth their salt would borrow money if need be so that they could pay their employees NOT take the money that they received and pay their own bills totally forgetting the employees.

Right now, I have to come up with several thousand dollars to pay all the late bills and hopefully stop some things from getting cut. Keep in mind that after health insurance is paid, my paycheck only covers gas, daycare, and groceries. That's it. I guess it's time to break out the stripper clothes and go hang out in the corner.

He was supposed to call on Sunday. It's the only day of the week when they're allowed to make phone calls and he didn't call. Now I'm worried that something's happened...


I miss him so.

The Kid is also cutting one of his molars.






How much longer will it be until all their teeth are in? I seriously thought that he'd been finished teething, gr. At least he can tell me when/where it hurts. The Hubbster called, they only allow them to call for a maximum of three minutes on Sundays so we couldn't talk much. Also, The Kid is majorly missing his daddy. Since The Hubby has insomnia, he'll sometimes sleep in the couch and I've caught the poor The Kid sneaking off to the couch in the middle of the night looking for daddy. :(

He's gone and am all alone in the house with the kidlets. Keep trying to make myself be busy so that I don't have to miss him. It sucks big fat monkey butt cuz I already got used to him being around all the time and now I have to get unused to it. I won't hear from him for the next few weeks cuz they like to keep their newbies sequestered for awhile. After that, we'll be able to talk to him on Sundays until he finishes up Basic. I so wish that we could pack up and move with him to his class after that but it's not financially feasible.

I am making a list of all the things that I want to get done around the house to keep me busy:
rug- the edge where it ends and the tile starts was ripped by the previous tenants and because The Hubby was going to retile the entire area he never got around to fixing it. I know exactly how to fix that problem and will be heading over to Home Depot this weekend to fix it. Wish me luck cuz I've never drilled through concrete nor sawed metal before. Am planning on using womanly wiles to get the Home Depot workers to cut the metal for me.

kidlets room have to figure some sort of storage space in there. Plus have to fit Ducky's crib in there as well

backyard since The Hubby used to do all his work in the backyard and was dumb enough to throw nails and broken glass all over it, The Kid could never play in it. Am going to separate an area just for him, comb through it for any nails/glass/sharp object, and then will throw one of those plastickey outdoor rug thingies on it in case I missed something. Will be second on list as I will then be able to let him out to play while I cook/clean/sleep.

laundry room he has a million things in here that he will never use. I will go over everything and throw away what's not needed. Get some organization in there as well.

computer/rumpus room Since he's gone, I can move things around and put them where they should be and gasp! get an actual computer table instead of a big long table that takes up half the room. Seriously, this has caused more fights than leaving the toilet seat up. Concurrent to that, I will be installing Microsoft Word AND Excel in the computer. He is mortal enemies with these two programs and forced me to go to the library and do my homework because he wouldn't install it. He thinks that WordPerfect is just fine and that "teachers have to understand it." Umn.. no, they fail you if you don't submit your work in the format required.

Am sure the list will get bigger as I think of more things that have not gotten done around the house.



In other news, Ducky would.not.sleep last night. I'm sure that he caught wind of Diana's sleepless teething night and decided that it was high time he did that as well. He was screaming horribly and was so tired and sleepy but just couldn't stop crying. I could see why some people shake their babies, because it was so bad that all I wanted was for him to stop crying. If I'd been told at that point that shaking him would've made him stop, I would've done it too. The desperation, sadness, tiredness, all combined with the fact that now am all alone with the kidlets kinda got to me. Thankfully the most harmful thing I did to him was give him Tylenol but even that didn't work. He finally fell asleep exhausted around 5:30am. Just in time for the alarm to ring.

Mr. Sourpatch is joining the army. It came on just as suddenly for me as it's for you. He leaves on Tuesday for Basic Training and from there will go straight to his class. He won't graduate there until sometime in Jan or Feb. So I will be a single mom until then.....



It sucks. I made a pro and con list of his going and the only things in the pro list are: less laundry and not as much cooking.

There's a big decision to be made in the sour household. Something that will affect the lives of ourselves and those who we hold near and dear to us. It's not divorce, so don't worry about that. I can't say anything concrete to you internets yet, but as soon as I have clearance, I will.

In the other hand, The Kid has been dressing himself of late. It's kinda cute to see all the funky combinations that he comes up with (green and blue shirt with red pants. one black, one elmo shoe) but he has to learn somehow.

Did you have to fight your husband to get him to show your boy how to pee like a man? Cuz seriously, I'm thisclose to growing my own manparts and showing The Kid how it's done. Somehow, after four years of marriage The Hubby has grown prude and doesn't want to show his manparts to The Kid.


is all I'm saying....

So, I'm watching judge judy and in the case the woman's complaining how the ex put lawnmower oil in her gas tank resulting in expensive repairs and such. All of a sudden, The Hubby, who was folding laundry while I sat on my butt and watched TV blurts out:

I did that once and continues to fold laundry.
whoa, back up here. you did what?
I put something in a lady's gas tank. except that it was sand that I put in there.
when? why? tell me! at this point am teethering on the edge of my seat. Judge Judy aside, my goody two shoes husband did criminal mischief. I've gotta get the details.
Oh, it was nothing. It was a lady that my dad used to date. She treated him badly and I put sand in her gas tank to get even. I was a teenager at the time.
did you tell anyone?
no. over in (insert the name of the island town he used to live in), if anyone'd learned I'd gotted beat up badly. So don't tell anyone.

point taken husband. The words: my husband commited random acts of criminal violence will not cross my lips. I pwomish that I won't blog about it either. I pwomish

The setting:
Saturday afternoon. I'm cooking in the kitchen, The Hubby is watching TV and the offspring is playing in the living room.

All of a sudden, I hear a huge wail. I look at the baby and it's not him, it's the other one. He's pointing to his mouth and crying. I ask The Hubby to take care of it as I'm up to my elbows in assorted raw chicken parts. He goes over to him and stares at him. Then I hear: stop crying what's going on? sourpatch I don't know what's going, on he won't tell me. And then he goes and sits back down. I call to The Kid while cleaning my hands. He gets to me and first thing I do is notice that he has a piece of ham in his hand. I open his mouth and there's another piece of ham in there (don't ask how or where he got it, it's still a mystery). It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that he'd gotten some ham stuck between his teeth and didn't know how to get it out. As soon as I pushed the bit of ham from between his two front teeth he went happily over to his toys to play some more.


Now if someone can assure me that he won't get salmonella again, I'll be fine. :P

Seriously, he's so goshdarndeddumb it's not even funny. The day started innocently enough, I went to pick up the kids at the sitter yesterday and bent down to say hello to duckie (that's gonna be The Child's new name from now on on account of how he scrunches up his lips). He was sitting in his little chair. He turned and looked at me, then turned right back to laugh and smile at the sitter and her granddaughter. He didn't glance back at me. Even after I picked him up and put him in the carseat, it was as if he'd rather be somewhere else than with me. Just like his older brother. It hurt, but I didn't let them know that it did.

When I went home, I told The Hubby what happened and instead of a little sympathy or even a there, there; all I got was:

Well, now you know that you're not duckie's god.

WTH does that even mean and what does it have to do with the fact that as a mom it hurt that my child would prefer someone else over me???!?!?!?! Seriously, what the heck is his head filled with, eucalyptus leaves? I couldn't talk to him, just ignored him the rest of the evening. Thankfully he had to leave to do some work and I didn't have to be plagued with looking at his sorry behind. He did try to call me later on, probably to tell me to record some stupid construction tv show but I didn't pick up. He knows that I haven't been in my right state of mind and he goes and throws this at me? It's like he's telling me to go completely crazy. It's things like this that make me wonder if I wouldn't be better off just being a single mom.

If someone can shed some light as to what the heck he meant by that, by all means please do.

So, yesterday the sitter calls. The Kid has thrown up twice. I try calling The Hubby to see if he can take The Kid but, no he says that he's too sick to drive. I left work early to pick him up. The poor The Kid was all flaccid. Yes, that's the word that came to my mind. The Poor child was just sitting there, not doing anything. Obviously the disease has affected him greatly. The Hubby was shivering and trembling in the couch, could barely speak. Great, I now had two sick guys to tend to. Not a pretty sight. Then came the diarrhea. Oh sweet monkey jesus! The diarrhea! Lets just say that I had to change my underwear. It was that bad. He got everything, blankets, clothes, me. Then he got a fever. I barely slept last night. Everytime that I managed to doze off, I heard the underwater fart noise that alerted me to yet another poopy mess. And of course, The Kid was all about playing at three freaking oclock in the morning. Who the heck is awake and lucid at that unholy hour? Not me, that's for sure. Took him to the doctor this morning where he was diagnosed with an ear infection. Surely not the cause for his exorcist-like projectile vomiting/diarrhea? I also found out that ALL the kids from church are sick with the same disease. Some of the adults have it too. I kept hearing my own stomach gurgle and bubble and praying that maybe just maybe I can hold off on getting all diseased until both guys are better. There's just no way that I can take care of two sick men while being sick myself. Of course, this morning I just HAD to get all jealous of the attention they were getting and go and start vomiting too.

Anyways, change of subject. I am so sleep deprived it's not even funny. I'm going to take a class every morning until the end of the year so I won't be online until after 1pm. Once I pass this one class, all I'll need is one math class and then I can leave this godforsaken skool and go on to the next one. Only five more years to go, is my daily chant. Remember, the peepee in the potty.

Nothing special happened this weekend. Oh yeah, The Hubby came back from the DR. Boy, was I ever glad to see him! And The Kid! He was like a bloodsucking leech! He.Would.Not.Let.Go. But I digress. Nothing interesting happened this weekend. But, The Girl! was in the hospital all day long on Sunday. We were told she had appendicitis. Turns out it was just a urinary tract infection. She's fine now. Just has to take her antibiotics. Nothing really special happened. Nothing at all.