Got you with the title didn't I? It was a beautiful church service. Pastor was preaching and Translator Girl was translating... Somebody decided that they just couldn't hold off anymore and started making out with their girlfriend. Now, let me just say that maybe, just maybe this someone is my nephew and that he is 14 years old. And that maybe, just maybe this girl is 12 years old (although she is *mature* for her age). And by *mature* I mean that she has said in the middle of church that "all the girls hate her because they think she steals their boyfriends, but it ain't my fault that their boyfriends like me" and that by *their boyfriends like me* I mean that she's told ADULT women at church that they're lucky they're married because she would so totally take their husbands from them. And by husbands I mean men twice her age...

But I digress. Let's just say that maybe, just maybe the kisses were so wet, that someone had to wipe the spit off of the girl's cheeks. Now remember that this is inside the temple while the pastor is preaching. And that the parents of one of these hooligans are sitting three, maybe four seats away. And that the father said he didn't see such a thing. And did I mention that this girl wears bandeau minis so short she can't sit down? My goodness, not even when I was at my hoochiest I wore things that short. It's scandalous, it deserves a stoning of sorts. Okay, I admit it. I've been hankering for a good old fashioned stoning for a while and if there ever was a situation that warranted it, this was it.

I don't like to talk about people but, when you're seen licking the inside of someone's ear at church you're pretty much up for grabs. Now, not many people saw this happening and the pastor didn't call them out in the middle of service. They weren't told, but I'm pretty sure that if they ever try that again, someone's gonna grab the microphone and point them to the happy couple.

Ew. What kind of person liplocks in church? Even when I was all about making out with guys in different, exotic places (like under the pier in Myrtle Beach. Or the Firehouse with a fireman. Or maybe a motorcycle) I still respected churches. I mean, you don't want God to strike you down and smite you.

Now I'm curious, would you ever make out in a church? Let me know in the comments section or write in your post and let me know.

5 comments

  1. Diana // 11:29 AM  

    I used to be afraid to even think about kissing someone in church. In church+thinking about kissing=NOOOOO!!!!!!!
    You made out with a fireman??? lucky duck, I think firemen are sexy beasts...

  2. sourpatchbaby // 11:38 AM  

    Yeah, back in my wild days. I used to think God would hit me if I soiled his house like that. That's why you don't see many people giving long french kisses at weddings, they're skared God's going to smite them.

  3. Katherine Marie // 10:28 AM  

    I would so make out in church... especially when I was 12 and "mature" for my age.

    If God was going to smite me down, he'd have done it a long time ago. Maybe when I wrote the Creationism versus Darwinism argument paper... or a thousand other times...

    But, seriously, that post was hilarious. I want more !

  4. sourpatchbaby // 12:04 PM  

    Katie, no offence. This girl is like the black to your white. She is so not like you at all. I remember you and I'm pretty sho' you weren't the way this chickadee is now. She's like paris hilton. case closed.

  5. Katherine Marie // 12:24 PM  

    Yes, I know, I kid... I kid... ♥