I think I might have to smack The Hubby around. He has officially driven me crazy. Little background for you: at the start of every single semester, I have to explain over and over to him exactly why I am not out of school yet, and how long it's going to take me to finish school. Every. Freaking. Semester. And every semester he "forgets" that I had given him this information. Anyways, This weekend classes started. One of my classes, I couldn't buy the book the same day class started because the store was already closed. I asked a kid on my class how much he paid and he gave me the info (65ish, used). I called the store he got it from on Monday (class was Sat afternoon, they didn't open again until Monday) and was told they were all out of the used and new books. That left me with no choice but to go to the skool store and buy from them.

Now I know by now all the used books are gone, and I will have to buy a new one. Used books go for 1/2 the cost of new ones, for those of you who don't know. The Hubby has me check on Amazon.com to see if the book is on sale cheaper there. I check, it's for about the same as a used book if I get the overnight delivery. I have to have the book in my hands before thursday as I have an assignment due on Sunday and I need time to complete it. The Hubby has me email him the information that I pulled on Amazon. I have no idea why, he was right next to me when I pulled it up and he could see it then. Today, just before lunch he starts im'ing me and asking how much is the book; how much does it cost with shipping; why can't I go to the store and buy it from them; why is it going to cost 100+ when I had given him a completely different price before; what do I mean by their not having the book; who told me that; blah blah blah

Then he tells me that he doesn't get paid until Thursday, which doesnt' matter, he has credit cards he can use. Then he tells me that he transferred the money (we have separate accounts) to my account and for me to buy it. Keep in mind that I need this book asap and that he has the ISBN number for the book with him, not me. Also note that it's past noon already and if I buy the book now, it won't ship until tomorrow and I will be hard pressed to finish the assigment. Keep in mind that IF I HAD KNOWN THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO BUY THE STUPID BOOK MYSELF, HE COULD'VE TRANSFERRED ME THE STINKIN' MONEY AND I COULD'VE BOUGHT IT ON MONDAY, AND COULD'VE HAD IT IN MY HAND BY WED! Also, I would have to put down the routing number of my account. Number that I don't have because my checkbook was in a box that The Hubby unpacked when we moved; contents of said box have gone to box heaven, never to be seen again.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What makes me mad is how he acts so innocent and doesn't seem to realize how much he's annoying me. He actually seems to sound "surprised" to know that he has annoyed me. I swear, if it was once or twice; it wouldn't be that big a deal. Every freakin' semester we get into an argument. I can't fanthom what makes him so dumb everytime. He always tells me the same thing: you never told me (how many credits you need/are taking/how much it's gonna cost. Your pick), if you had, blah blah blah.

Sometimes my husband makes me wonder if The Hubby stuck a crayon too far up his nose when he was a child.

Hi! I'm The Kid, AKA Salmonella boy. Yup, I have salmonella. That's why I've been in PoopFest '06. Also, is the reason why I have a weird diaper rash that won't quit. So far, the only thing that seems to work is calamine lotion. notice how cute I am, wanna put your finger's near my mouth? C'mon, I wont bite....too hard. Muahahahahahahaha, muahahahahahhaha

I took an online test and have discovered that I most resemble Hitler. Umn, I don't think there's anything else to add to this.

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When I was growing up in some random island, I was poor. So poor in fact, that my sister and I shared a barbie (with skanky old raggety hair) and a ken doll (had no pants, we wrapped a tiny rag around him for pants. It was more like a loincloth). Anyways, we played lots of weird games (not just my sister and I, every kid we knew). One of those games was extremely cute. It goes like this:

5 names of guys
Luis
Robert
John
Mark
Matthew

5 names of girls
Joanna
Tamara
Diana
Dream Mommy
Karen

5 parts of a chicken
Wing
Breast
Leg
Beak
Neck

5 parts of a house
Jacuzzi
Closet
Bedroom
Pantry
Roof

5 songs
Oops, I did it again...
I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner..
I like big butts and I cannot lie...
Eeeh Macarena..
She wore an itsy bitsy teene weeny yellow polka dot bikini...

Once you have that completed, you put it together like this: Luis grabs Joanna by the wing, takes her to the Jacuzzi and sings, Oops I did it again...
And on until you go through the list. It's quite funny when you use people you know and add silly songs at the end. Umn, I guess I tag whomever reads this first. No one can get mad as to which part of them gets grabbed or what song they get sung. It all falls randomly, plus it's fun.

Tamara tagged me with this one

3 things that scare me
My car toy, when it is turned on (love it when it's off)
The vacuum cleaner
Being alone in a room

3 People That Make Me Laugh
Daddy
The Girl
My girl pastor

3 things I love
Kix cereal (I think that they're cookies)
Mommy's milk
Sleeping curled up in the crook of mommy's arm

3 Things I Hate
Sleeping in my crib
Being alone
When I'm told "no touch!!"

3 Things I Don’t Understand
Why mommy doesn't like it when I try to bite her face
Why they keep putting me back in my crib
Why they won't let me bite their bellies

3 Things On My Highchair
Dried cherries
Avocado
Kix

3 Things I’m Doing Right Now
Sticking something in my mouth
Chewing on an electrical cord
Slowly cleaning my sitter's floor with my patented drool/butt slide move

3 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
Get my hands on the DVD player
Learn how to walk
drink out of a cup

3 Things I Can Do
Walk holding on to someone's hand
Grab mommy's belly flop and try to blow bubbles on it (don't ask)
Stick my finger in my(and other people) nose

3 Things I Can't Do
walk unaided
Sleep the whole night
Be alone for a minute

3 Ways to Describe My Personality
Curious
Determined
Needy

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To
Me
Veggietales (any)
Reggaeton music (mostly Manny Montes and Rey Pirin)

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To
Whenever someone tells me no
Slow, old people music
Anything that doesn't involve me

3 Absolute Favorite Foods
Whatever is on your plate
Avocado
Strawberries

3 Things I’d Like to Learn
What is inside the toilet
How to work the remote
How to make these adults understand me

3 Beverages I Drink Regulary
Mommy's milk
Water
Pedialyte(recently)

3 Shows I Watch
Veggietales
House
That 70's Show

Taking a cue from here, we have entered the first installment of PoopFest '06. I must've changed no less than 16 diapers in less than 24 hours. Who knew The Kid could hold in so much poop? He's on liquid crack (pedialyte)right now and the sitter has the extremely fun job of collecting "samples" to be taken to the doctor. Boy, am I glad I'm at work today. Saturday he had a blowout in the supermarket and I was forced to dress him in a striped shirt with a plad overalls. He left me no choice.
I went to the supermarket again this morning before going to work and was met with a sight to behold. Two old people making out. My first thought when I saw this was, hey they still in love, how cute. Then I noticed how they didn't seem to come up for air (maybe were sharing same oxygen tank?), and then I saw this sixty something year old woman grabbing her equally old man's hips and thrusting them firmly towards her. EW. GROSS. I blacked out after that. Don't remember how I managed to get to work. Old people have no business doing what us young folk do. They old, period. I don't have anything against old people, just don't remind me that you guys still do stuff. Please. I leave you with a picture of The Kid when he was a mere three days old. Notice the sprawling mane 'o hair.

This is a picture of The Kid, aka Joseph. Ain't he a cutie?
Anyways, am feeling loads of love for him today. The boy slept from 11pm to 6:30am last night! In his 10 months of life, that was only the second time that he let me sleep for more than three hours at a time. Lots and lots of love for him are in order. Will give him extra smoochy kisses later on. I gave blood today. Am feeling extremely dizzy now. Hubby was all like, What? You not big enough to donate! You're gonna disappear on me! What's wrong with you? Feed me! ME ME MEMEMEMEME! And other such things.

The next picture was obviously taken at birth. Notice his nakeyness! Do you think that The Kid will be traumatized to know that his mom thought that he looked like a dead baby hippoppotamus (sp) when he was born? On my defense, I had no contacts and the glasses were sweaty. But I do remember that thought crossing my mind the moment that he came out (I was looking through the mirror). Also, he reminded me of that Ace Ventura movie where he comes out of the poopshoot of the hippo robot and he's all nakey. Crazy thoughts that went on my head at the time, no? Now am horrified that The Kid will grow up stooped because his mom thought he looked dead, but he really looked gray, extremely gray and lifeless. I think I'll shut up now.

Sorry I've been gone for awhile. Had a bunch of things happen. Anyhoo let me tell you how my weenkend turned out.

First of all, let me say that my brother in law and his wife came to visit with their newborn baby before my BIL goes to Irak. On Sunday, at like 8pm I am informed that I'm to make dinner for said brother and sister in law at my house on monday night. That would be okay except that I had nothing to feed these people. I tried to go to the store, keyword tried. When I was at the register, I realized that a certain The Kid had taken my card out of the purse. Had no money whatsoever and had to leave everything in the register. Then I had to go to skool yesterday morning to take care of some things. God, that was not fun at all. I had to stand for TWO hours waiting for the apt time (they just changed the rules and a person can't just show up to the financial aid office, they have to stand in a line for an apt card) (oh, and did I mention that The Kid was with me for the ride? Yeah, that was fun). Then once I get out of financial aid office I have to go to the advising office where am told that the elective class that I have chosen for this semester doesn't count as an elective! Why the heck is it called elective then? Of course, their server is broken and I can't sign up for another class at all because that's the only place I can sign up at. Then I had to go to two different offices in skool so I could finish up my junk and make sure that yes, I'm to graduate in the spring. By the time I was done it was close to 2pm and had to take The Kid with me to work. Double fun. Then I had to go home and cook. I told the BIL to come to the house around 8ish since I don't get home 'till 6. The mother in law is all: 8pm! You'll be starving by then! six oclock! six thirty! that's dinner time! (never mind that she knows for a fact that I don't get home until six and sometimes later).

I had a pretty nice spread, rice with carrots, grilled chicken, beans, salad, homemade coconut ice cream (or limbel, like my in laws refer to the ice cream) for dessert. Of course my dining room table only seats four people, and of course the mother in law tagged along. First of all, she didn't even knock, she just opened the front door and walked in (much fist shaking was done on my part towards Hubby since he left door unlocked). Then she doesn't even acknowledge my existence until forced to. Let me tell you, it's pretty difficult to fit 5 people in a table built for 4; but I set the table and we were seated. Thank goodness my husband forewarned me that she might want to tag along and I cooked an extra chicken breast for her, although I gotta admit, I kinda wanted not to do it so that she would get the point that when she's not invited that it means she's not invited. Then she wouldn't allow my BIL to serve her, she had to do it herself. SHE PICKED EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF CARROT OUT OF THE ITSY BITSY SPOONFUL OF RICE SHE SERVED HERSELF! That annoyed me because, if you go to eat at a person's house, then eat the stupid food! Will it kill you to be polite and eat the food? (she's not allergic or something, she just.doesn't.eat.vegetables. Of course she didn't serve herself salad. She was mad that there wasn't anything fried to go with the meal (she didn't say it, but she has mentioned a hundred times before how she HAS to have something fried with every meal). Then she took the tiniest piece of chicken, I don't know if she wanted to martyrize herself or what (she doesn't like my cooking because I like to cook healthy. As in olive oil, baked not fried, lean not fatty, oh, and I use herbs to season my food. go figure) but she looked pained when said BIL took all the beans that we had and dumped them on his plate, so there was none for her. Then there was no soda (we try to not drink soda {well, when I'm around Hubby} and BIL and wifey only drink water) so she was forced to gasp! drink water even though we had lovely Juicy Juices and iced teas. Then she just wouldn't even speak, even after we told her that she was allowed to talk. In the end, she just stood there, by herself, while the rest of us talked and bonded. All in all, taking that monkey wrench out of the equation, we had a lovely time. Oh, and I found out that BIL is not going to see any combat. He will be stationed in Egypt and will just patrol a border, but he'll be gone for a whole year and will miss his firstborn's first year of life. That will suck.

I tried to upload some pictures of The Kid, so that you all may bask in the deeelishus cheeks but stupid blogger won't let me. I think it's gay. yup, very gay. I saw something on the news yesterday that made me do a double take. A couple walking in a Walmart parking lot heard crying and saw a pair of five month old twins inside a car! The window was "craked"! How the heck does someone do this to their kid? The man reached in and opened the door to get the kids out and they called the cops. The doctor that checked the kids said that the temperature inside the car was at least 115 degrees! He said that the children were taken out just in time. The stupid woman (I refuse to call her mother for very obvious reasons) came out of the store 30 SWELTERING MINUTES LATER!!!!!! Thank God that the passerbys heard the children and didn't hesitate to take them out. The police arrested her butt and I hope she stays in jail for a long time.

How does someone just ups and leaves their child in the car? To go to the store for God's sake! I'm extremely paranoid that I will forget The Kid in the car one day and am always checking and rechecking the backseat everytime that I go down to my car to pump at work. It's unbelievable, someone should take her reproductive organs and beat her over the head with them. There is absolutely no excuse for that kind of behavior and she should not be able to regain custody of the children. I better get back to work now. The past few days I have done nothing except camp out over at Karen's from thenakedovary.typepad.com. She got her referral! Please go over and congratulate her on her beautiful Maya Papaya! I fear that I may be fired or something for not doing my job. Better get back to doing it then. Ciao