Two things happened this week. One really good; one, well, let's just say that I didn't kill someone because of it. Fine, I thought about it. Okay, I went crazy. There.
First off, The Kid reached two milestones this week. the first happened over the weekend, he decided to actually crawl like a regular, normal, human being. See, for the longest time we all thought that he was destined to just slide across the room on his belly. I mean, the kid was almost nine months and pulling himself up on furniture and could not remove his oh-so-heavy belly off of the floor. So I called his little move the G. I. Joseph (yes, now you all know his name. Shoot me, I dare you. Go ahead.....) because that's what it looked like, a soldier scootin' on the ground. This weekend we said goodbye to that as The Kid decided that the GI Joseph was soo last week and started to crawl. But noooo, The Kid decided that it wasn't enough to break my little heart. Nooo, he decided that this week was the perfect time to start cruisin', sadly, this means that I have to run to the store and babyproof the house (don't call CPS on me, I never let him off my sight, actually, off of me. The Kid is always either stuck to my arm, or my boob). My baby's growing up...
And now for the other thing. Listen carefully internet, because once I say this it will never be spoken of ever again. NEVER. Okay, here it goes: The Kid put a roach* in his mouth!!!!!!! it was soo horrible! My kid! And a roach! Together! At! The! Same! Time! In! His! Mouth!! I freaked out soo bad, all I could do was bawl at the hubbie "How do you expect me to feel? My son had a roach in his mouth!!!!!!!!" I tell you internet, I almost had a heart attack. Call me selfish, but I seriously considered never kissing him again, or letting him bite, er.. kiss me ever. We were in the living room (which had just been vacuumed) and I was letting him play in the rug (bad, bad mommy) when I see him scoot a little bit, stop, sit, and bring something to his mouth (which fell off right away. Thank goodness for lack of fine motor skills). Inmediately I rushed to him and started to freak out. Needless to say, more fumigating is in order. I think we are all getting high off of the fumes. We removed the dining room table so that we can see better all around The Kid in order to protect him for those precious few moments a day when he is not in my arms or sucking the lifeblood out of me or trying to see how far my "dirty pillows" will stretch..
*Thank you very much extremely icky nasty tenant. This is your doing. May you wake up in the middle of the night with a big ole flying roach kissing you and caressing your cheeks!!!!!! How do you like that?!!!!
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