There I was, I couldn't have been more than 5 maybe six and was still peeing on the bed. My sister also did it but she's older than me by two years. She was seven maybe eight. Some crazy neighbor lady told my father that she knew a surefire way to get us to stop peeing the bed. So he decided to give it a go. So that night before bed that lady, some random man, my father, sister, and I all piled up in our one bedroom apt. The lady brought over a 5 gallon can of crisol (kindof like crisco). Then my dad took the caldero (cast iron pot, hispanic people make their rice here) and put it on the stove and heated it. Once the caldero was very very hot, they took some rags and placed it inside the can of crisol. They then placed the crisol in the middle of the room. Then the crazyness happened.

Pee on it.
say what?
You heard me, pee on it. It'll make you stop peeing the bed.
Uh, no thanks. I'm fine, really. I don't fly like that.
Pee.On.It.Now. And make sure that you pee inside the caldero.
------
so, there I am, in my innocent childlike innocence and I have to pull my pants down in front of these people so that I can pee in a hot caldero? I'm pretty sure that if The Hubby knew how eager I was to please others when I was younger, he'd want a refund of some sort.

So.... I hovered over the can and peed. I'm pretty sure you all know what happens when you put an empty pot on the stove and then add water to it after it gets hot. There was steam EVERYWHERE. And it hit me. there. Gosh, that was a lot of steam generated. Cuz you know, they wouldn't let me go to the bathroom beforehand and I had a lot to empty.

There was no neosporin for my burned insides, just a: take it like a man and stop crying.
And then it was my sister's turn. Oh boy, that was not fun. Correction, it was fun for me. She was smart, she did a drive by type of thing and wouldn't stay over the caldero long enough to feel the burniness of the steam. Not even when the adults threatened her with the big mama belt.

I did stop peeing the bed, I'm not sure that it was definitely that incident that caused it to happen although if they threatened to burn my bits again I would've probably never peed again. My sister went on to have a successful bed peeing career. I think she stopped when she was about 12. To this day, they still credit the caldero recipe for my stopping peeing on the bed. They say that because my sister didn't do it right, is the reason she kept on peeing.


I'm not so sure. Anyone know the number for international CPS? I'm pretty sure that incident would qualify my father to get his parental rights terminated. Or at least get him sterilized or something. And then katie wonders why I'm this messed up.

11 comments

  1. alexandra // 10:16 AM  

    Muchacha, I heard they did this to a cousin of mine and tried to distract him by playing his favorite ventura song. Poor you!

  2. Anonymous // 12:22 PM  

    HAVE YOU HAD THE OLD SCHOOL EAR-INFECTION RELIEVER? MY MIL (DOMINICAN) DID IT TO HER KIDS AND NOW MY LITTLE MAN...I MUST SAY IT WORKED BUT EEEWWWWW!!!!! (LET ME KNOW IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT...)
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  3. sourpatchbaby // 12:35 PM  

    No I don't know, but if it's anything like the skin infection treatment my friend went through, I bet it involves urine. Someone else's urine.

    Am I close?

  4. Anonymous // 11:29 PM  

    i feelbad for you but i still pee in the bed and im 11 and i want to go to a sleepover but i cant because off that its always getting in the way of stuff like six grade camp

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