So, I was all ready to leave for work this morning. All I had left to do was change the baby's diaper. In the process of doing so, duckie decided that he wanted to poop and fart at the same time. Well, for those of you that don't know breastfed babies' poop is liquidy. He got my arm, shirt, the bed, and THE WALL!!! How the heck does one get a wall poopy??@!! I'm screamming at the husband to help me and he's calmly getting up out of bed. He approaches me ever so slowly and asks what do I need....grr! first of all turn on the light and get me about a thousand more wipes stat!

he walks with all the calm in the world to get the wipes and comes back about 5 minutes later, hands them to me and then proceeds to go back to bed. Umn, no you clean this kid while I clean me up. When I came back from cleaning me up and finding another shirt, what do I find but him next to duckie and the baby face down naked. that's right folks, he couldn't even put a diaper on the baby. I get him changed and start feeding him and what does he do next but spit up everything all over me and voila' another clothes change for mommy. When it was all over I turned to The Hubby and said: you have the slowest response time EVER!

poor duckie though, we're all sick and diseased at the house and he's getting it now. Hopefully it won't be as bad as the colds that we have. Poor poor baby.

I didn't tell you guys about the last time I almost died. Well, here it is:

It was a beautiful sunny saturday morning and the other women from church and myself were going to a conference in Orlando. We were going to drive there and I was in the car of lady B, along with two other ladies and The Kid. I was about seven months pregnant at the time. Lady A was to lead the group of cars and she wasn't doing a very good job about it. Let's just say that for about 45 minutes, she had us lost withing 15 miles of church. Yes, that means we were driving around in circles in the same general area. Then, once we finally made it to the 75mph minimum highway, she kept on switching lanes like it was going out of style or something; completely forgetting that there were other cars following her. We had to pull over in the middle of the highway because someone got a flat tire. After getting some confusing signals, lady B pulled out of the grassy area and went into the right lane of the highway and stopped.

Yes, she came to a complete stop in the 75mph highway waiting for lady A to pull out. Lady A didn't pull out cuz she was fixing her makeup or talking. Meanwhile, I get this funny feeling and look behind me (did I mention that I was riding in the backseat along with The Kid? Well, I was) and lo and behold there's the biggest 18 wheeler truck in our lane that we are totally stopped in and he's honking his horn, hitting his brakes, and I could see the man's terrified face as he realized that he was going to plummet into our car. Two things I did at once, yell at lady B to move your car woman git! git! git! And realize that I was probably going to die alongside foetus mccletus and The Kid since we were in the backseat and would get hit first. My life flashed before my eyes. The Kid happily munched on some cheerios and blueberries.

Thankfully lady B moved the car back into the grassy area and we survived. The truck driver's tires did not. There was so.much.smoke coming from his tires from when he was slamming on his breaks that I think they may have caught on fire, remember it was a 75+mph highway and he was going pretty fast. Little foetus mccletus did not move at all for the rest of the drive. It was pretty scarey. We made it to the conference and on the way back they had someone else be the leader of the cars. That ride was so satisfyingly boring that I almost peed my pants. Oh lets face it, I was pregnant, it didn't take much to make me pee my pants.

And that my friends, is the tale of how I almost died.

So, I had a car accident on sunday (don't worry, I'm okay) and my doctor said that it would be better if I stayed home and took it easy for a few days so she put me on bedrest until this morning. Which means that I was completely out of the loop for a whole week internets, how did you manage to breathe and blink in my absence? The good news is that That One is fine, all the body parts are in place: heads, arms, legs, peepees, etc.

That's right, it's a boy! Plus they said that he'll be here sooner than we expected and changed the due date from 1/21 to 1/11. Goodness, can't wait to meet this lil dude!

For your viewing pleasure. Notice the headband action there.

So my sister has been scanning pictures and emailing them to me. And Holy Poop on a stick They're old skool pictures. And by old skool, I mean old skool. Can you guess which one I am? Hint, I have the 'groovy" red shoes on.
I must've been like 6 at the time...



be prepared to see a whole lotta me.