I keep coming back to this blog trying to type something and then stop. Facebook has been getting all my love lately. So many things have happened these past few months so I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version of it. The Kid started karate, soccer, and HeadStart. The kidlets got new carseats. The kids and I got to stay at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel for free thanks to a nifty deployed spouses conference. Heck, just for sitting in a room listening to some chaplains talk about the love languages I got to have full daycare for three days, a luxury hotel room, free food, vouchers for more free food, and even won a couple's massage certificate which is good for another two years. Will be waiting for The Hubby to get here to cash in the certificate. I started teaching The Kid how to read, write, and simple math (have nothing else better to do with my day, lol). I started school. We had R&R. I spent way too much money in two new wardrobes for The Kid and myself (thankfully Ducky still fits in his 6-12 month sized clothes so I don't have to buy him anything for a while). I had an experience traveling through the Space A program. Oh yeah, and The Kid broke the truck. And not like, omg you broke my truck. More like Sweet GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TRUCK CHILD! It was bad. Very, very bad. I put him in the car and told him to get in his seat, turned the car on so they could have a/c and turned around while L asked me a question. In those .03 seconds he got into the driver's seat and put one foot on the gas and the other on the break. And pushed, hard. While I reached into the car to pull him off the car made a noise that sounded like a dozen spoons were thrown into the garbage disposal. Needless to say, the engine was kaput and I was carless. Of course, this did had to happen three months after we finished paying off the truck (early, might I add).

Gone were the karate lessons, soccer practice. Heck, even the visits to the dentist were gone. The only reason we didn't die of starvation was that the supermarket happens to be within walking distance of the house. So I would put Ducky in the carrier, The Kid would walk, and I would push the umbrella stroller so that I could use it to carry the groceries home.

And then we had R&R, we decided to go back home for it so the kidlets and I loaded up and hopped on the Space A flights so we could make it back home in time for The Hubby to get there as well. Can't go into too many details of that as it would take a week and I'm trying to make things snappy. But we did get a car, a minivan actually. I threw a temper tantrum at The Hubby so that I could get something that fit more than two carseats in the back. Of course, we had to ship the car back here so we only drove it for two weeks while back home before we left again. It came here in Feb. And then I decided that there was no way in God's green earth that I was going to allow the red iron dirt of Hawaii stain the cream carpeting. So off I went to the store to buy a black outdoor rug and I spent an afternoon cutting and measuring the rug to make it fit in the car. It's worked great might I add. Especially when it rains and all that oxidized dirt becomes mud. And the texture helps wipe the shoes and might I add also hides dirt and cookie crumbs. Win/win all around. I do like the new car. It's a Nissan Quest and it's quite lovely inside and out.

With the new car coming in I was able to get the kidlets back to the dentist for a way overdue visit (car broke in October and didn't get the minivan here until Feb) only to discover that despite my using a dentist's pick on his mouth daily and having him use mouthwash daily as well, The Kid had two cavities. Of course, our crappy insurance meant that the only fillings they'd partially pay for are the metal ones and I didn't want my poor boy walking around with tons of metal in his mouth. So off I went to find a pediatric dentist that did composite fillings. Thank goodness I found one since he is ten times better than the other dentist who conveniently "forgot" English when he pleased. He got the first filling done yesterday* (they're on opposite sides of his mouth) and the poor thing looks like he got infected. The gums look white around the tooth and he says they hurt. So off we will go to the dentist again tomorrow to get it checked out. Poor boy, I feel so sad for him. But the new dentist inferred that the old one was incompetent and inept since The Kid is so easy to work with.

The Kid started swimming lessons. Sadly though, even though he has a long way to go before anyone can say that he knows how to swim; he knows more than I. Soccer season is over so I couldn't get him back into it but next month is sign ups for pee wee baseball. I shall enroll him in it the very first day. I've been wanting to enroll him in baseball since he was swimming around in his daddy's undies. The Hubby gave me the go ahead to homeschool the boys (yay! Party in my mouth!) so I have set up the extra bedroom to look like a classroom. I have pictures on my facebook but I'll have to post some here as well. Since The Kid knew basically 99% of the kindergarten curriculum from the company I decided on (My Father's World), I ended up getting the 1st grade curriculum. I don't have to submit anything until the year he turns six and I can spend two years on the 1st grade stuff if I have to so it won't be so hard on him or me.

But this is a bittersweet weekend, this is my sixth anniversary and mother's day weekend (Sat and Sun respectively). I am a bit sad about that although The Hubby told me to buy myself whatever I wanted as my mother's day/anniversary present. So I chose a sewing machine since I've been wanting to learn how to sew. But I do get to go on another conference this weekend. This time we'll go to SWEET MONKEYS ALIVE! I just googled the name of the hotel (Marriot Ihilani Resort) and this came up "One of Conde Nast's Top-Five Spa Resorts in the world." How cool is that? Somehow, I don't feel so sad about this weekend anymore. The Hubby being gone is what's getting me to spend the weekend at this resort so I'll be happy for that.


*by yesterday I mean Tuesday but I did start writing this on Weds.

What is the problem with all these stupid teachers doing it with their students? Is there no dignity anymore? I just heard on the news that yet another pervert was caught. She rented a hotel room with FIVE of her underage students, bought them beer and stuff, and then took a "shower" with the 17 year old. If this woman starts saying that she's too pretty to go to prison I think I'm gonna hurt someone. Parents are supposed to send their children to skool to learn to read and write, not learn how to do it. Especially not from their teachers. Am I going crazy or are all these pedophile teachers only in florida?

This is enough to make me seriously consider homeskooling. Before I was just toying with the idea but now it looks like it's the only choice unless I want my kids to be violated by their teachers. Can't these women find a man their own age? Why do they have to go off and rape these boys (it seems all the cases in the news are female teachers and male students). It's sickening the way things are going now. If things keep going this way, five years from now we'll be hearing this:

mom: so, honey how was skool today?

daughter: good, I learned all about amoebas, practiced the periodic tables. And mom, nobody touched my vagina today!

mom: oh good, I was a bit worried there.

What are they teaching these sickos over in teacher skool??? Last I checked, I thought that the teachers are supposed to be like a second set of parents towards the children and help bring them up to be productive members of society. Skools are supposed to be a place for education, not a flesh market. And what kind of pervert would find a child sexually appealing? EW! Gross!

I have got myself an edumacation! I am officially a diplomaed person! I have an Associate of Arts in Business Administration! Yay! It only took me three and a half years! Yay! Whee! Soo very happy for me! Also, I found out about this skool. It's a christian skool in Florida and I can get me my Bachelor's in only 15 months! Yay! And it's one class at a time. And it's online classes. And each class lasts four weeks. Oh boy! Oh boy! I will be an accomplished woman in no time.

UPDATED AT THE BOTTOM
So yeah, it's been a heckalong week:
Monday: After dealing with all the work stress all day long......go to skool learn that after we've been told the whole semester that the final would be open notes, now it's not. Did I mention that the final is Weds? And that it's math (my archenemy).

Tuesday: Have to attend "training seminar" at work due to some panel interviews that we're to hold. Stress* me out a lot. Am sent home with a pile of resumes to go over on TOP of my math junk I have to go over. Lose my T1-83 calculator. Have no idea what happened to it. Am about to go into fetal position. Had to beg the receptionist to lend me a crappy looking thing that a kindergartener wouldn't be seen with.

Wednesday: Have to be at the interview room at 8:15am. Not a good idea since I'm extremely cranky if I don't eat a cuban/meatball sub/can of chefboyardee early in the morning. Am starving and losing my mind. First two interviews were like night/day. Extremely different**. Break for lunch and run over to the taco bus to gets me some of the best tacos in town. Had no time to study and*** have to run back and interview some more. Didn't finish the interviews until 4:50pm. The VP of our segment called us to get our feedback on the people we intervied. Didn't get out of that until 5:30pm. Did I mention my final was today? Yeah. Run over to skool's cafeteria and get with the other students there. We're all trying to study but it's hard since the teacher gave us this chapter in two weeks, and he wasn't even in skool two of those days(two day a week class). Did I mention that he won't answer any questions directly? Like, if I don't understand question five and ask him to explain....He will look at me and say: if it makes you feel better, put what you want there.WTH?**** All of us dumb students try to figure out how to do things. We finally figure out how to work things out then we have to rush over to the class.

Test was eeeeesseee. Was more of what I would expect a 5 year old to do. I better get an A in it or I'll put flaming bags of poo in his house.

*got a cold sore right in the middle of my lips. I've never even seen one that wasn't at the corners of the lips, let alone in the middle. It's HUGE.

**Tip for all you job seekers: if you're being interviewed and someone asks you a question, don't be all huffy and say: "I believe we already covered that already" when A)we haven't. and B) we're interviewing you not the other way around. Be a professional already and answer the darn question. Also, vague answers don't quite cut it. Be prepared to back up what you have on your resume with specific detailed answers. And don't say that you don't want to be a "road warrior" when you know full well that the position YOU applied for requires 15-30% unexpected travel. On eye contact: don't assume that one person is the main decision maker and only speak to that person when other people are asking you a question. Also, panel interviews mean that everyone on the panel will make a decision, not just the one person you single out to the point of ignoring others.

***Got a soda out of the electric cooler thing. When I opened it, it fizzled all over the place. Thank goodness that I was next to a trash can. What didn't fizzle out, was frozen. People, stop turning the temperature in the cooler thing all the way down. You have exploded several cans of soda already. Grow up.

****what the heck.

UPDATE: Also, if your interview is at say, 10am. Please do NOT show up at the jobsite at 7:30AM! I mean, seriously! What are you expecting, that we take you before everyone else? Be a professional about it. What irks me most is that this person was (since she's not even going on to the second round of interviews) applying for an HR Director of the Americas Region position. The kind of thing that you need to be a professional and that you make way more than six figures. NOT the kind of job you get at your local Mickey D's. Act like an adult and not an impetulent child.

Apparently some of us aren't allowed to have major or minor crisis and not post about it because ms Katie will chase us down and chop off our heads. I was out of work thursday and friday because I was busy having an operation. I had to have all of my wisdom teeth taken out. ALL OF THEM. AT THE SAME TIME. UNANIMOUSLY. People, I have stitches inside my mouth. Plus, the doctor cut me. As in, there are cut marks inside my cheek. As in, not anywhere near the back of my mouth. As in, he was playing some sort of crazy tic tac toe game with the nurse. Did I mention that there are stitches inside of me? I am scarred people! Call me scarface! Go ahead, Katie.

I don't remember anything of the past week. I remember that the nurse put me under, and then I remember waking up at home. Nothing in between. The Hubby says that I was so out of it. He says that I was complaining about the crappy nurse that wouldn't give me my teeth and they-came-out-of-me-why-can't-I-have-them-back-why-are-they-hazardous-waste-now? But drunkenlike. So now not only can't I not hold more than one beer (probly less than that since it's been years since last imbibing alcohol), apparently I can't hold anaesthesia either. Thank God that there hasn't been any major swelling. Actually, the drugs they gave me are so good, I been mostly dizzy and drowsy all day long. Have no idea what I'm doing at work today though. I've already puked and almost fainted but I will stubbornly stay on. Oh yeah, I go back to skool today after spring break and have a test due today. Guess how much of it is done. Go ahead, take a gander.

So, yesterday the sitter calls. The Kid has thrown up twice. I try calling The Hubby to see if he can take The Kid but, no he says that he's too sick to drive. I left work early to pick him up. The poor The Kid was all flaccid. Yes, that's the word that came to my mind. The Poor child was just sitting there, not doing anything. Obviously the disease has affected him greatly. The Hubby was shivering and trembling in the couch, could barely speak. Great, I now had two sick guys to tend to. Not a pretty sight. Then came the diarrhea. Oh sweet monkey jesus! The diarrhea! Lets just say that I had to change my underwear. It was that bad. He got everything, blankets, clothes, me. Then he got a fever. I barely slept last night. Everytime that I managed to doze off, I heard the underwater fart noise that alerted me to yet another poopy mess. And of course, The Kid was all about playing at three freaking oclock in the morning. Who the heck is awake and lucid at that unholy hour? Not me, that's for sure. Took him to the doctor this morning where he was diagnosed with an ear infection. Surely not the cause for his exorcist-like projectile vomiting/diarrhea? I also found out that ALL the kids from church are sick with the same disease. Some of the adults have it too. I kept hearing my own stomach gurgle and bubble and praying that maybe just maybe I can hold off on getting all diseased until both guys are better. There's just no way that I can take care of two sick men while being sick myself. Of course, this morning I just HAD to get all jealous of the attention they were getting and go and start vomiting too.

Anyways, change of subject. I am so sleep deprived it's not even funny. I'm going to take a class every morning until the end of the year so I won't be online until after 1pm. Once I pass this one class, all I'll need is one math class and then I can leave this godforsaken skool and go on to the next one. Only five more years to go, is my daily chant. Remember, the peepee in the potty.

The Kid has ANOTHER molar coming in. Crankyness factor has been upgraded to red. A little cold seems to be creeping in and making room up The Kid's nose. And oh yeah, did I mention that he loves his bellybutton? The Kid can't get enough of it. It's crazy I tell you, crazy. Dear God, where does the time go? It seems as if just yesterday I was feeling you move and now you're running around the house carrying your shoes. Why? Why must you carry your shoes all over the house? Do they need to see every single inch of the house? Do they need to take a rest from all that walking you do? Oh well, we'll never know will we?

In other news! I! Got! Accepted! At! My! Skool's! Honor! Roll! Society! Yay! I didn't even know we had one. Seems like you don't find them, they find you. Plus, on a better note. I did much better on my next test although I don't know what my score is because teacher hasn't posted grades yet. And, I found out that my lowest test score gets dropped. That will be just peachy. I have to wait a couple weeks in some ultra special bloglife secret thingamajig. Something so udderly (moo:) deelishus that I can't even bring myself to post about it yet. Will let you know if/when it did/didn't happen. In the meantime, it's Nakey Bottom Time! Courtesy of The Kid.



Ciao!

That's my score in a test I took. A very very important test. I suck at skool. I wish I could bite my own head off. I've never had such a low grade in my life. And I was a habitual class cutter. This is going to ruin my GPA. I suck. It's physical geology class and it's online. It's very hard to concentrate on the class When I have The Kid wanting to play with the computer and The Hubby would rather watch TV instead of watching The Kid for five minutes. I have another very important test this saturday. I should be studying for it, but instead I'm here.......