I keep coming back to this blog trying to type something and then stop. Facebook has been getting all my love lately. So many things have happened these past few months so I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version of it. The Kid started karate, soccer, and HeadStart. The kidlets got new carseats. The kids and I got to stay at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel for free thanks to a nifty deployed spouses conference. Heck, just for sitting in a room listening to some chaplains talk about the love languages I got to have full daycare for three days, a luxury hotel room, free food, vouchers for more free food, and even won a couple's massage certificate which is good for another two years. Will be waiting for The Hubby to get here to cash in the certificate. I started teaching The Kid how to read, write, and simple math (have nothing else better to do with my day, lol). I started school. We had R&R. I spent way too much money in two new wardrobes for The Kid and myself (thankfully Ducky still fits in his 6-12 month sized clothes so I don't have to buy him anything for a while). I had an experience traveling through the Space A program. Oh yeah, and The Kid broke the truck. And not like, omg you broke my truck. More like Sweet GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TRUCK CHILD! It was bad. Very, very bad. I put him in the car and told him to get in his seat, turned the car on so they could have a/c and turned around while L asked me a question. In those .03 seconds he got into the driver's seat and put one foot on the gas and the other on the break. And pushed, hard. While I reached into the car to pull him off the car made a noise that sounded like a dozen spoons were thrown into the garbage disposal. Needless to say, the engine was kaput and I was carless. Of course, this did had to happen three months after we finished paying off the truck (early, might I add).

Gone were the karate lessons, soccer practice. Heck, even the visits to the dentist were gone. The only reason we didn't die of starvation was that the supermarket happens to be within walking distance of the house. So I would put Ducky in the carrier, The Kid would walk, and I would push the umbrella stroller so that I could use it to carry the groceries home.

And then we had R&R, we decided to go back home for it so the kidlets and I loaded up and hopped on the Space A flights so we could make it back home in time for The Hubby to get there as well. Can't go into too many details of that as it would take a week and I'm trying to make things snappy. But we did get a car, a minivan actually. I threw a temper tantrum at The Hubby so that I could get something that fit more than two carseats in the back. Of course, we had to ship the car back here so we only drove it for two weeks while back home before we left again. It came here in Feb. And then I decided that there was no way in God's green earth that I was going to allow the red iron dirt of Hawaii stain the cream carpeting. So off I went to the store to buy a black outdoor rug and I spent an afternoon cutting and measuring the rug to make it fit in the car. It's worked great might I add. Especially when it rains and all that oxidized dirt becomes mud. And the texture helps wipe the shoes and might I add also hides dirt and cookie crumbs. Win/win all around. I do like the new car. It's a Nissan Quest and it's quite lovely inside and out.

With the new car coming in I was able to get the kidlets back to the dentist for a way overdue visit (car broke in October and didn't get the minivan here until Feb) only to discover that despite my using a dentist's pick on his mouth daily and having him use mouthwash daily as well, The Kid had two cavities. Of course, our crappy insurance meant that the only fillings they'd partially pay for are the metal ones and I didn't want my poor boy walking around with tons of metal in his mouth. So off I went to find a pediatric dentist that did composite fillings. Thank goodness I found one since he is ten times better than the other dentist who conveniently "forgot" English when he pleased. He got the first filling done yesterday* (they're on opposite sides of his mouth) and the poor thing looks like he got infected. The gums look white around the tooth and he says they hurt. So off we will go to the dentist again tomorrow to get it checked out. Poor boy, I feel so sad for him. But the new dentist inferred that the old one was incompetent and inept since The Kid is so easy to work with.

The Kid started swimming lessons. Sadly though, even though he has a long way to go before anyone can say that he knows how to swim; he knows more than I. Soccer season is over so I couldn't get him back into it but next month is sign ups for pee wee baseball. I shall enroll him in it the very first day. I've been wanting to enroll him in baseball since he was swimming around in his daddy's undies. The Hubby gave me the go ahead to homeschool the boys (yay! Party in my mouth!) so I have set up the extra bedroom to look like a classroom. I have pictures on my facebook but I'll have to post some here as well. Since The Kid knew basically 99% of the kindergarten curriculum from the company I decided on (My Father's World), I ended up getting the 1st grade curriculum. I don't have to submit anything until the year he turns six and I can spend two years on the 1st grade stuff if I have to so it won't be so hard on him or me.

But this is a bittersweet weekend, this is my sixth anniversary and mother's day weekend (Sat and Sun respectively). I am a bit sad about that although The Hubby told me to buy myself whatever I wanted as my mother's day/anniversary present. So I chose a sewing machine since I've been wanting to learn how to sew. But I do get to go on another conference this weekend. This time we'll go to SWEET MONKEYS ALIVE! I just googled the name of the hotel (Marriot Ihilani Resort) and this came up "One of Conde Nast's Top-Five Spa Resorts in the world." How cool is that? Somehow, I don't feel so sad about this weekend anymore. The Hubby being gone is what's getting me to spend the weekend at this resort so I'll be happy for that.


*by yesterday I mean Tuesday but I did start writing this on Weds.

That's right, We're going to HAWAIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is happening pretty fast now. Suffice it to say that we will be there before mid April. I put in my notice at work yesterday (how awesome was that?!), my last day will be the 27th. My internet and cable will cut off the 31st which will leave me with about a week of no 'net while still in FL and it will be several weeks while we set up housing and have our furniture and pc delivered. Who knows how long that will take. For now, nyanya nyanya nya nya, I'm going to Hawaii to LIVE and you get to freeze your tushies. The Hubby wants me to find a job once we're settled but with the way the economy is and the high costs of daycare, I'm going to try and convince him to let me stay home with the kidlets. They're growing up so fast and I'm missing out on so much...



Go ahead, hate me.

And to top it all off, I got a brand new (Charlotte Russe) two piece business suit at a garage sale for two dollars. Fits me like a dream.

Yesterday we went to the zoo (or zoom! As The Kid says) and had a blast. We got to feed the giraffe! How cute are they? What with their big ol' eyes and huge eyelashes. The Kid was not afraid at all when it came his turn to extend his arm for the giraffe to eat. He actually fed it three times and loved it. I fed it once and have to say that the sandpaperish feel of its tongue pressed against the back of my arm was not entirely what I expected. But it's tongue was purple which made everything much better. I did notice however that there were a ton of people in the designated smoking areas (which are partially hidden) that chose to put their children inside it as well while they smoked up.

I wanted to hurt those people. It's bad enough that they're willing to put cancerous fumes on their bodies, they were forcing their children to fill up their lungs with strangers' smoke as well. I'm not talking about one parent with a child in the smoking area, I'm talking about upwards of ten+ adults and one or two children (one of them was in the infant baby stroller with the carseat on top). How can one as a parent force their child to ruin their lungs like that? I get breathless and start coughing everytime I'm near smoke (it didn't happen when I was younger) to the point where I think I'm having some sort of allergic reaction. I can't imagine what these poor children are going through.

Last night we went to the circus. It was a spur of the moment decision, they were only going to be in until Sunday and I would only have two short windows of opportunity to go. It was amazing! I've never been to the circus before unless you count that one time when I was twelve where I arrived like 10 minutes before it ended. The Kid was so excited that he actually went to the bathroom 5 times in the three hours we were there. He almost did pee his pants. And Ducky, wow. His eyes were like two frying pans they got so big. He sat and looked at the show barely making a peep the entire time. The Kid wasn't afraid of the clowns and absolutely loved the elephants and dancing tigers. Of course, the magician was his favorite part. Now he's walking around the house waving his fingers "mysteriously" like the magician in the show. Definitely if you can take your kidlets there go, it's well worth it.

The Kid calls lollipops-ladypobs. For the life of me I can't get him to pronounce it right. But then again, this is the child that thinks maracas are "my racas" as in "these are racas that are mine." Silly child. Silly indeed.

I used to have pets. lots of them. Lets see, there was a dozen baby chicks, two turtles, two baby crabs (the edible kind, not the nasty kind; katie get your mind out of the gutter), a gazillion fish, three or four dogs, a chicken, two cats. And all of them met untimely deaths (with the exception of the dogs which were given away).

Today, I'll talk about the turtles and fish. See, we had two green turtles my sister and I. And they looked so very lonely and unhappy. The fish on the other hand, looked so very happy swimming away in their tank. We had so many fish that they were in a 25 gallon tank and you could stick your hand in there and randomly grab a couple of fish without even trying. It was fun, slimy but fun. So my sister and I decided that we'd do little overnight trips for the turtles so that the fish could tell them how fun life was.

We didn't know that turtles ate fish. Of course we noticed how the next day the turtles didn't seem to like it when we took them out of the tank. And of course we noticed that some fish were half eaten. But somehow we never quite put two and two together. I have no idea what happened to my sister's turtle. My turtle on the other hand met its maker one sunny weekend that my cousin came to visit. You see, he wanted to play with the turtle but he was a bit rough. So rough in fact that he ended up poking the turtle's eye out. As you can imagine, the eyeless turtle bit the naughty boy quite hard. The boy threw the turtle out the window never to be seen again. Did I mention that we lived in a two story building?

The fish didn't all die thanks to our turtles but that's a tale for another day.

Whether you have had children, taught children or just observed children in the grocery store,

you're gonna love this one:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brothe r, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back a nd groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down wi th her back against the wall.)

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden , out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was f rom Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there."


got this off my board.

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside, she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

It's green and I even wrote Irish Spring on the top of it. $5.00 per bar plus shipping.



I just had to post this here. I saw it at my board and was rolling on the floor in giggle fits because of it.

Free museum admission this Saturday! Go to this link to find a museum near you and get some edumacation in you :)
here!

Your prenatal vitamin of choice just happens to be Flinstone's Sour Gummies and you fight your toddler for the bottle....


Do you think I've a problem?

Tony, this one's for you! I have to get the pics out of my camera and upload them here though. We went to a waterpark on Saturday and what do you think we saw???


A KFC all you can eat buffet! Yes! With the colonel's chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and everything in the menu as an all you can eat!

So yesterday The Kid decided that sleep was overrated and did.not.nap. at all. It was hard going there after a while since his body needed it but whatever. When we got home from church it started raining bad so I took him outside to look at the rain since he can't see it very well from inside the house (since the porch railings block his view). He made me get his chair and put it ouside so that he could sit and watch the agua coming down. He also felt the need to let me know that the agua was coming down from above. Once the rain died down he ventured out into the yard and stood around a bit. He also did this one dance that he's been doing lately. It's some sort of jive with a little merengue in it. It also has some bootie shakin' and comes with it's own song that he made up and we can't figure out the words to. He did fall asleep around seven pm so at least I got some respite there. Oh, and he's the sweatiest child I know. We cuddled up a bit in the couch before I took him to bed and (I'd taken his shirt off since I'd given him some corn on the cob) his back was filled with sweat beads within minutes. His whole head was covered in sweat as well.

Goes to show you how the things we take for granted can actually be pretty cool in their own rights. It's been a long time since I stared at the rain falling. To put it in Dr. Seus' words: A person's a person, no matter how small.

Boy, n: A noise with dirt on it.

First off, let me start by saying that I've never voted before. Not because I wasn't old enough, but because I wasn't allowed until recently when I became a citizen. Now, I have known in each election who I wanted to win. In the 2000 elections, I wanted Gore to win only because he was friends with Clinton and I liked Clinton. Sure, Gore walked like he ran out of the hospital in the middle of his colonoscopy, but we all have our quirks. I didn't like Bush, I didn't like his daddy and I didn't like him. Period. Fast forward to the 2004 elections. Now it's Kerry and Bush again. While my feelings for Bush have not changed, I am as shallow as a puddle and cannot allow the country to be run by someone that literally looks like the california raisin man.

I would so much rather see the country in the hands of a parkinsons/alzheimers diseased old man than a wrinkley excuse for a stretched out piece of leather. See, what this country needs is a good looking president. That will solve our problems. Think about it, everytime that a good looking president has been on top, we've had good times. Take JFK for example, now THAT was a man. So what if he was a drugged up sex addict? He looked good in pictures. That's all that counts. Take Clinton, now he may not be winning any beauty pageants but compared to 1st Bush, Reagan, and that other guy, he's all man. And that's why he won. Now, if the Democrats want to win this election, they should get themselves a good looking man and pit him against that floating sack of old that's Cheney and they're guaranteed to win. After all, we all know cyborgs can't be presidents and he's had so many surgeries that he should be classified as one.

So, I gots tagged. Again. But this time the Papa tagged me. It's about the meaning of the names. So, The Kid's real name is Joseph. It's hebrew and it means May Jah Give Increase. But my name, my name's something quite weird. It's Gisselle. It was supposed to be Arlette but my father changed it when he went to register me (in the DR you don't register babies at the hospital but later in life). He also changed my sister's name from I don't remember what it was supposed to be, to his ex-girlfriend's name. I don't think that my mom was very happy with that decision. As for The Hubby, he has one of the common names that you see hispanic men with. It's either Jose, Roberto, Pedro, or Luis. Back to The Kid, he was not named by either myself or The Hubby. He was actually named by God himself. You see, The Hubby had a vision where God told him that he would have a son and that he must name the boy Joseph. And since you can't really go against God's will because he can smite you, we did. His middle name is Ethanael, I chose that because while I was pregnant I had a crush on Ethan from Passions (give me a break, had nothing to do all day but sleep and watch soaps).

Feeling Stressed?

Tough day at the office?

Feel like slapping someone?


Click in the link and then move your mouse around.

linkalinkidink

Okay, so I had this job where I monitored court proceedings. It was actually fun, me being the nosy nelly that I am and all. And since most of everything I saw and heard is public record I can talk about it. Except the other stuff, the juicy things. Those I can't really talk about (although they never told me not to, I just figure that since the transcripts are not available to the public, that I can't talk about it). Of course, that only means Katie's curiosity has been sparked.
FYI when you first go to court to get a restraining order, you initially get a 30 day emergency one. You have to show up in court to get it to be made permanent (usually 12 months). If during the time that either the temporary or permanent restraining orders are in effect the other person breaks contact (even by calling the other person), they can go to jail from anywhere between 1-12 months depending on severity of offense. But first they have to go in front of the Judge and explain why they broke the restraining order.

Anyways, we had this case in domestic violence court (that's where all the injunctions or restraining orders are done). This woman was at a family BBQ. There were only 2 rack of ribs for everyone there to share. There were about 17 people at the BBQ. The woman in question took 1/2 a rack for herself, another woman didn't think it was right. A fight ensued, they ended up putting restraining orders against each other.

This other woman, she got a restraining order against her ex husband and it was made permanent. She later called the police and said that the ex came and beat her up. She was in pretty bad shape. Bruises, torn clothing, pulled hair, furniture all over the place, broken things, you name it. It looked like the guy did a pretty good job of getting the woman. The judge issued a Warrant for the guy's arrest and then when their court date came up, all poop hit the fan. The guy had been saying from the beginning that the woman was lying (don't all wife beaters say that?) but he could never prove it. This time he told the judge that he had solid proof that he did not do anything to the woman. The judge, curiously asked what kind of proof. I mean, this couple had been in front of him several times already and all. The guy said, and this is where it gets good. He said, I was picked up for drunk driving about 2 hours before the incident. I was sitting in jail when I supposedly beat her up. The woman, could not come up with an answer to that and it was determined by the judge that the woman beat herself up just to get back at the guy. Talk about bad blood huh? I don't remember exactly what the judge did, I know that he terminated the injunction against the man but made one against the woman. He also either jailed or fined the woman for lying to the court. The judge liked to retell this story to all the couples that came in front of him to show the spiteful mean spirited women that they could not lie because they would be found out. Katie, what do you think?

So I just came back from our company's Teambuilding meeting. It's something quite cute that they came up with to get every department to work together. So far, we have gone to Gameworks (adult chuckecheese), Laser tag arena, and today we did a murder mistery thing. It was very much so like Clue except I actually understood what people said and guessed right at the murderer. Because of that I won a hat. Not just any hat, an island girl hat. I look like I should have some too short long pants, a white beater, and be barefoot climbing a coconut tree. S'okay though, I won. That's all that counts!

Katie, the one about the eggs is for you.

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."

**************************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

**************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

We were going to try to buy a brand new house for us to move into. After thinking about it, we decided not to. It sucks because that house can beat up our current house. And I'd already gotten my hopes up. S'okay, says The Hubby, we'll get a better house for our needs. Our problem is space. We have to have a double garage to keep The Hubby's tools and to keep the church's trailer. Since our church doesn't have its own temple right now, all the music equipment is stored with us. And it gets cramped sometimes because The Hubby can't carry everything to its spot every sunday (the stuff's really heavy). So if we had a covered garage that would solve that problem. We also have to have plenty of space for The Hubby's trailers and the one that he's planning on buying. I tell you girls, I've got the best hubby in the world (for me that is. For you it most definitely probably may be yours). I have literally tried to take his breath away (by standing reaaally close to him and breathing all the air around him). I tell him that he's not allowed to have any of my oxygen and I must take it all back.