It's been crazy, he's been home less than a month now and it's hard to readjust our lives again. He's not used to being near small children whose attention needs suck the lifeblood out of you (he's asked me at least six times if we can't just send them to school, lol). I'm not used to having to run my decisions by anyone else before acting on them. Plus I have to share my car with him, gone are the days where I woke up and decided we'd be going to the beach or lake right then and there. The kids are not used to him anymore and it shows. Ducky is afraid of his daddy and will only go to him/allow him to touch him under very VERY controlled situations. The Kid is very afraid that daddy is going to leave again. Every time that The Hubby leaves to the store or to work, The Kid starts crying because daddy left again and he won't see him again. He has been going to work (on a modified schedule) while they finish all the redeployment paperwork. Thankfully though, his leave starts tomorrow and we'll be going on a family vacation. Hopefully spending a month traveling in Cali and Tijuana with daddy 24/7 will be enough to get the boys to become more comfortable with the fact that daddy is here to stay.

The plan is for us to leave on the first plane that goes to Cali (free flights, but it can be a pain to get there) and then hitting up a few of the touristy attractions. Since Tijuana is just a short drive away we'll be going there for the day as well. Never been to Mexico before so I'm excited and looking forward to it. Although we won't be staying in Mexico overnight due to The Hubby's unnatural fear of being stabbed to death by a Mexican gang member (stems from his having gone on a missions trip to a part of Mexico that has more gangs and murderers than normal people).

and that's the reason my grandma wouldn't let us watch that show. That, plus apparently some kids that were alone watching the show said that the smurfs came out and scratched them. Never mind the fact that the entire show revolved around an old guy trying to commit genocide and a town with only one female and a surprisingly large number of children and babies with no visible parents.

But that got me talking to a few people and then everyone started spouting off their favorite eighties cartoon shows which brought back a lot of memories. Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake (the original, not the weird version they came up with recently), She-Ra (or She-Man as she was called in our country), He-Man, Thundercats, Voltron, Transformers, and who could forget Jem and the Holograms. Man, I wish I was back in the eighties. At least then you knew what to expect from cartoons and it wasn't wondering whether or not this picture is true:

Honestly, who the heck lets their seven year old girl child dress like a slut and dance like that in public? And then posts it on youtube so that anyone and everyone can copy it on their hard drive? Last time I checked, that song "Single Ladies" has a sexual undertone to it. Burlesque wear and pre PREpubescent girls should not be used in the same sentence. And the dancing, holy toledo the dancing. Yes, the girls do have talent and can do moves that would be hard for a lot of older girls taking professional dance lessons. But that does not excuse the fact that they're shaking things that they don't even have and dancing suggestively. I would like to know what was going on through the parents heads when they saw their girls practicing to that song and then saw the outfits.

The outfits kill it, I mean if they were wearing loose jeans and fitted tops the dance would look halfway normal. And I say halfway because there are a few parts of the dance that are suggestive no matter what way you look at it. But other parts of the dance are okay and would look much better on a child who was wearing a bit more clothing.

This stuff is fun. I get to be sent to a five star hotel to spend a few days lounging around, get free books, money for food, win prizes, and get free daycare. All I have to do? Send my husband to a warzone for a measly year. Not too shabby (yeah, right). We had fun, we did the five love languages, the five love languages for children, and even watched (and got the book for) the laugh your way into a better marriage seminar. Too too funny, I definitely recommend it to all married couples. And to top it all off, I got two copies of the Love Dare book (the one that the movie Fireproof is based on). All signs and rumors are pointing to The Hubby's unit coming back a month early but like I told him, until he's on a plane home I'm not believing anything. After all, this is the same Army that moved up his deployment date via text message. The kidlets and I spent quite a few hours at the kiddie pool. I'm happy to report that The Kid is almost swimming. I'm even sadder to report that that child swims better than I do.

But back to the midget room. They gave us a darn midget room, literally. The bathroom counters were about two inches higher than my kneecaps. The bathtub was ye high (about eight inches tall) so there was no danger or fear of Ducky drowning in the tub accidentally. That's seriously one of my biggest fears, that and being chased by zombies. The toilet, oh my God the toilet. Let's just say that when I sat down on it, my knees were touching my ears. But my two year old was able to stand next to the toilet and pee comfortably. And when we were jumping on the beds my head kept hitting the ceiling. Darn midget room.

But since the kids were having so much fun with a room that was just their size, I didn't call the front desk to get a different room. Darn motherly instincts, I suffer for three days so that they can have fun.

I keep coming back to this blog trying to type something and then stop. Facebook has been getting all my love lately. So many things have happened these past few months so I'll give you the Reader's Digest Condensed version of it. The Kid started karate, soccer, and HeadStart. The kidlets got new carseats. The kids and I got to stay at the Royal Hawaiian Hotel for free thanks to a nifty deployed spouses conference. Heck, just for sitting in a room listening to some chaplains talk about the love languages I got to have full daycare for three days, a luxury hotel room, free food, vouchers for more free food, and even won a couple's massage certificate which is good for another two years. Will be waiting for The Hubby to get here to cash in the certificate. I started teaching The Kid how to read, write, and simple math (have nothing else better to do with my day, lol). I started school. We had R&R. I spent way too much money in two new wardrobes for The Kid and myself (thankfully Ducky still fits in his 6-12 month sized clothes so I don't have to buy him anything for a while). I had an experience traveling through the Space A program. Oh yeah, and The Kid broke the truck. And not like, omg you broke my truck. More like Sweet GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TRUCK CHILD! It was bad. Very, very bad. I put him in the car and told him to get in his seat, turned the car on so they could have a/c and turned around while L asked me a question. In those .03 seconds he got into the driver's seat and put one foot on the gas and the other on the break. And pushed, hard. While I reached into the car to pull him off the car made a noise that sounded like a dozen spoons were thrown into the garbage disposal. Needless to say, the engine was kaput and I was carless. Of course, this did had to happen three months after we finished paying off the truck (early, might I add).

Gone were the karate lessons, soccer practice. Heck, even the visits to the dentist were gone. The only reason we didn't die of starvation was that the supermarket happens to be within walking distance of the house. So I would put Ducky in the carrier, The Kid would walk, and I would push the umbrella stroller so that I could use it to carry the groceries home.

And then we had R&R, we decided to go back home for it so the kidlets and I loaded up and hopped on the Space A flights so we could make it back home in time for The Hubby to get there as well. Can't go into too many details of that as it would take a week and I'm trying to make things snappy. But we did get a car, a minivan actually. I threw a temper tantrum at The Hubby so that I could get something that fit more than two carseats in the back. Of course, we had to ship the car back here so we only drove it for two weeks while back home before we left again. It came here in Feb. And then I decided that there was no way in God's green earth that I was going to allow the red iron dirt of Hawaii stain the cream carpeting. So off I went to the store to buy a black outdoor rug and I spent an afternoon cutting and measuring the rug to make it fit in the car. It's worked great might I add. Especially when it rains and all that oxidized dirt becomes mud. And the texture helps wipe the shoes and might I add also hides dirt and cookie crumbs. Win/win all around. I do like the new car. It's a Nissan Quest and it's quite lovely inside and out.

With the new car coming in I was able to get the kidlets back to the dentist for a way overdue visit (car broke in October and didn't get the minivan here until Feb) only to discover that despite my using a dentist's pick on his mouth daily and having him use mouthwash daily as well, The Kid had two cavities. Of course, our crappy insurance meant that the only fillings they'd partially pay for are the metal ones and I didn't want my poor boy walking around with tons of metal in his mouth. So off I went to find a pediatric dentist that did composite fillings. Thank goodness I found one since he is ten times better than the other dentist who conveniently "forgot" English when he pleased. He got the first filling done yesterday* (they're on opposite sides of his mouth) and the poor thing looks like he got infected. The gums look white around the tooth and he says they hurt. So off we will go to the dentist again tomorrow to get it checked out. Poor boy, I feel so sad for him. But the new dentist inferred that the old one was incompetent and inept since The Kid is so easy to work with.

The Kid started swimming lessons. Sadly though, even though he has a long way to go before anyone can say that he knows how to swim; he knows more than I. Soccer season is over so I couldn't get him back into it but next month is sign ups for pee wee baseball. I shall enroll him in it the very first day. I've been wanting to enroll him in baseball since he was swimming around in his daddy's undies. The Hubby gave me the go ahead to homeschool the boys (yay! Party in my mouth!) so I have set up the extra bedroom to look like a classroom. I have pictures on my facebook but I'll have to post some here as well. Since The Kid knew basically 99% of the kindergarten curriculum from the company I decided on (My Father's World), I ended up getting the 1st grade curriculum. I don't have to submit anything until the year he turns six and I can spend two years on the 1st grade stuff if I have to so it won't be so hard on him or me.

But this is a bittersweet weekend, this is my sixth anniversary and mother's day weekend (Sat and Sun respectively). I am a bit sad about that although The Hubby told me to buy myself whatever I wanted as my mother's day/anniversary present. So I chose a sewing machine since I've been wanting to learn how to sew. But I do get to go on another conference this weekend. This time we'll go to SWEET MONKEYS ALIVE! I just googled the name of the hotel (Marriot Ihilani Resort) and this came up "One of Conde Nast's Top-Five Spa Resorts in the world." How cool is that? Somehow, I don't feel so sad about this weekend anymore. The Hubby being gone is what's getting me to spend the weekend at this resort so I'll be happy for that.


*by yesterday I mean Tuesday but I did start writing this on Weds.

When you see me using the bathroom with the lights off, do not turn them on for me. Understand that I'm not doing it because I'm some sort of closet vampire. I'm actually trying to hide from your spawn, er children. You see, the lights of the bathroom are connected to the fan and if I turn them on they will realize that I've escaped their grasp and will come and find me. Rather than having two screaming crying children disturbing the only 10 minutes of me time that I have, I'd rather do my necessities in the dark.


Please understand that and respect my choices. Or next time that I catch you going to the bathroom I will wait until you're too busy, open the door, throw a small child or two in there and close the door. Trust me, you do not want to be reading Hansel and Gretel while trying to do number two.